A Little Less Volume

What I've Been Reading Lately

2012-02-11T22:56:00.001-06:00

I just starting reading The Emperor of all Maladies.

Ever since reading the Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks my interested has been piqued in health related books. As I've been reading this book, I've found so many different things fascinating. Learning of how historical care practices from doctors, who with the best of intentions, but lack of knowledge was really horrific and macabre for the patients. There really is a fine line between human trials and human experiments that was probably crossed with the best intentions.

I have to confess, I really know nothing about cancer, with so many different types of cancer, I really didn't know what cancer really was. I'm so ignorant, I didn't even know that oncology was until I started reading this book. And I guess that makes be lucky but I'm retiscent to talk about all the things I've been reading, because I've seen how hard it is for families when I family member has cancer. So I will leave you with one thing I found interesting.

One interesting thing

When the humoral theory was proposed, with the different fluids of the body (black bile, phlegm, yellow bile, and blood), the only disease that was attributed to black bile was cancer and depression. I wonder if its because the symptoms of either manifest in a variety of different ways, or that people often look fine on the outside, but are well aware of their "condition" on the inside. Or that those closest to a person with depression and cancer are also affected by the disease.

I'm also reading an interesting article that explores the correlation between your gut microbiota and your metabolism. This kind of article is a little outside my field of knowledge, but its still pretty interesting, and so far I can grasp what it's saying without googling any of the big words.

The article is talking about how the gut microbial community has more microorganisms that in the body by "two orders of magnitude". In my mind I have a tiny universe of microorganisms living inside my gut helping my body with biochemical and metabolic stuff. Kinda like the locker in Men In Black that holds an entire universe:

~b~

In the Kitchen

2012-01-25T20:50:00.000-06:00

Last night I made this for supper:

Carrots and Lentils in Olive Oil

The recipe it not only healthy (it uses 4 cups of sliced carrots and has 12 grams of fiber in one serving), it is really delicious too.

I also made a red velvet cake too last night, so I could make this:

Red Velvet Trifle with layers of cool whip, chocolate fudge pudding, raspberries, and skor bits.

My favorite part about making a trifle is you can bake a cake and eat bits of it too, and no one will ever know.

~b~

A Glimpse into My World

2012-01-12T22:04:00.000-06:00

Last year my son was diagnosed with PDD-NOS which stands for Pervasive Development Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified. It's really just a long fancy sounding name that means he has symptoms that fall under the autism spectrum. This means that, among other difficulties, it is harder for him to connect socially with others, so most of you probably don't know him like I do. Which is unfortunate, because he is really quite funny.

So this post is some of the ways he has made me laughed this past month.

My son saw this when we made a late night trip to Walmart:

He pointed it out to me and thought I should buy it. So that when I got married I wouldn't have to "ascribe to traditional gender roles". I don't know where he even gets this kind of language from, but I'm glad he's looking out for me!

I came home from work on Monday and my son asked me if I had any dreams lately. Then he proceeded to tell me that he had a dream that he was "that wrestler, Macho Man Sandy Ravage".

OHHH YEEAHH!!!

Sandy Ravage??? SANDY RAVAGE!!! I couldn't stop laughing and kept on repeating Sandy Ravage, and asking him where he had even heard of Randy Savage.

And then the funniest part of the whole situation was when I calmed down from laughing and he said:

"Actually, I didn't have a dream of Randy Savage . . . I made the whole thing up." And then with a bit of reflection, he said . . . "I don't know why I just made that up."

I don't know why he made it up either, but it was pretty funny. Funny and weird.

My son had to write some poems for his English class. One commented on the current economic situation. Another one was about Smelly Pete, who takes bathes in expired milk.

Here are two of my favorite poems he has written:

A Haiku

Loopy Lorenzo
lost his marbles and his hair
oh what a dispair!

A Tanka

Dreary and drunk Dan
slurs, stutters, and stumbles around
the streets of Boston
he searches his bag for booze
Why is the rum always gone?

I'm not too sure what inspired him to create characters like Smelly Pete, Loopy Lorenzo, and dreary and drunk Dan, but I like it!

~b~

2012-01-04

2012-01-04T23:03:00.000-06:00

It's been so long that I've published that I actually had to spend some time looking for the "new post" button.

Last month was such a whirl wind of activity that for the first time in this blogs history I didn't publish at least one post. Besides going to parties and getting ready for Christmas I ended up signing a lease on an apartment that has some amazing view of the river and downtown Saskatoon. I will have to post a picture of the view soon.

It seems like this time of year should be spent reflecting on the important/major events from last year but with the move and settling into a new place most of the time my mind is preoccupied with envisioning my future here. I have a lot of good memories spent with friends from this past year and a lot of times and events that were hard to endure. Maybe the move has made me look at the past with rose colored glasses, but I think because of those hard times I have left last year with a deeper faith, better clarity of who I am meant to be, and what I love to do.

A friend of mine asked me the other day if I had any resolutions, and I hadn't really thought about it too much. But after listening to a leadership podcast about Mission Statements which is essentially writing out exactly what you want out of life, I realized that if I want to live the life that I envision, I need to be more intentional in how I live on a daily basis. The other two things that resonated with me was the point that people who accomplish things decide in advance how they spend their time, and that success is direction. So hopefully this weekend I can get the mountain of boxes out of the house and carve out a little time to make a "time" budget and make sure I spend time in my week getting to that place that I envision myself to be in.

For those of you who make resolutions or goals I wish you the courage to define and pursue your dreams and the tenacity to continue on until you arrive.

Happy 2012!

~b~

My weekend.

2011-11-28T07:43:00.001-06:00

This past weekend was one of those times that I wished I could bottle up the memories and feelings and save them for later. It was a crazy busy weekend. Here are some of the highlights:

V/A CD Release Party

Not only was the performance stellar, but I absolutely LOVED the cover songs that were played: The Killers, My Body (Young the Giant), and Kings of Leon (my favorite band).

I also like how Aaron looks holographic in this picture:

Victoria Awake CD Release Party

Birthday Breakfast

Having a birthday breakfast with my friend and her children. I've known my friend for the past ten years and I have to many memories of her and the kids. It makes it a little hard to see them growing up. sniff. . .

Happy Sweet 16 Teagie

Going to a Masquerade Tea Party

This was a last minute invite and I'm glad I went. It was fun to dress up, meet new people, and hang out with people I don't get to see that often.

Dressing up and wearing masks.

Candy Cane Nails

My friend has been getting her nails lately, and the art is always amazing, this time she got candy cane nails:

Ang . . . will you marry me?

Yippee for Brothers!!

Especially, the super strong handsome, owns a truck kind of brother.

On Saturday my brother drove out to Tisdale and picked up a brand new mattress set and frame that my Grandparents were giving to Davin. He stopped by in the afternoon, took out the old set, brought the new set up to Davins room and even stayed to set it up. He made everything look so easy. It would have taken me all afternoon the get this done, and I'd be exhausted at the end. I'm sure I'm boring you, but I am so thankful that he did this for me and Davin.

Having a brother who is 6'3" and works on the rigs is handy.

Mumford Sunday

On Sunday morning the worship team at my church put on a special Mumford and Sons sunday worship. It. was. awesome.

I'm really glad I decided to drive home at the last minute and grab my camera.

I had such a great weekend this past weekend. It was filled with great music, hanging out with friends, and lots of laughs. I think I might be a bit crazy to consider finding a job in another city. To be honest, it's made me consider what I make important in my life.

~b~

RANDOM!! A pictorial account of my recent wanderings and whereabouts as documented by my iPhone.

2011-11-08T18:33:00.001-06:00

I'm pretty sure I promised a blog post days ago. Here it is.

I had a last minute invite to see Keith and Renee, an opening act to bluessmyths at Lydias. The music was so good that I ended up staying a lot later than I planned on.

bluessmyth at Lydia's

Sometimes when I'm at the bar at the end of the night, I wonder if the guys see me like this:

I suspect the the occurrence of good conversations will be inversely proportional to smartphone use.

I planned a nice meal to eat with my son and then he stood me up! I couldn't find anyone to come over at the last minute, but I made it anyway. Eating alone sucks.

Quinoa Stuffed Red Peppers, Chicken with Butter and Chives and Garlic Bread.

I took this picture over a month ago. I had a last minute supper invite and I'm glad I went. I felt like it was the holidays with everyone crowded at the table. We ate delicious food and even had dessert. Good food is even better when it is shared.

A variety of Ice Cream Toppings.

~b~

On waiting

2011-10-25T19:02:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine spoke on Sunday about waiting and I could really relate when she said that we all experience waiting. I feel like I'm in perpetual waiting, in all areas of my life - my career, my health, for love. It seems that every time I set goals, make a plan, and set out to achieve that goal, something happens. I feel like I'm Jack Sparrow stuck in Davey Jones locker.

And yet, I truly believe that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be right now.

I read a blog post by Paul Tripp yesterday and can really identify when he says "waiting is not only about what you will receive at the end of the wait. Waiting is about what you will become as you wait" and that "personal heart and life change is seldom a sudden event. Usually it is a process".

I'm not really sure how I have changed since my illness and surgery last year, but I have. I think after weeks of being sick I can get rather dramatic and at some point I decided to "arise from sleep" and live life.

Here are some of the things that resulted from my last waiting:

I decided to stop living a life based on fear. Before my illness and surgery, I would have never went tubing, tried to waterski, ziplined, and especially ask to speak in front of a group.

I began the pursuit of wisdom. This has meant that I have stopped trying to get people to tell me what to do and have started making my own choices. It has meant I have been trying to make the best decisions I can and it has resulted in a confidence of the decisions I make.

I have been more obedient to the prompting of my heart. I would have never written this post, or ask to share in front of Journeys before the beginning of this year.

I have decided to quit living someone else's vision of life and try to figure out who I really am.

I was thinking this weekend how my life is kinda like the treasure hunts my mother would make for me at my birthday parties. We started with one little clue that told us where to look for the next clue. As soon as we would find the that clue and read it, off we would race to get the next clue. How boring would the game have been if she would have just handed us a piece of paper that showed us where the treasure was.

I think my clue simply says: WAIT. But this time, instead of getting angry and trying to move forward anyway (which I usually do), or get mopey and depressed (which I also do as well), I am simply going to try my best to wait and to pay attention, because I don't want miss getting handed the next clue.

~b~

Randoms: From Turban Squashes to Robot Coffee Makers

2011-10-23T20:14:00.000-06:00

This is Mr. Turban Squash. We picked him up in Keremeos, BC at a roadside market. He made his debut on Facebook when our van broke down in Golden. When we finally arrived in Canmore, I took him for a walk and on a whim, decided to take his portrait:

Mr. Turban Squash is watching the Canmore traffic drive by on an overcast fall day.

Opportunities

I decided to start saying yes to more opportunities outside of work that come my way and stop worrying about my career for a while. Then my co-worker showed me a job posting which would basically be a lateral move into a position in Ottawa, but at a higher pay level. I just found out I've been accepted in the selection process, so I guess I have some studying to do.

My friend Aaron and his band Victoria Awake are releasing an album called If You'll Have Me at the end of November. I saw them play at Lydia's and am definitely looking forward to their CD release party.

<p><p><a href="http://victoriaawake.bandcamp.com/album/if-youll-have-me">If You'll Have Me by Victoria Awake</a></p></p>

Last week I was feeling a bit better so I worked on eating 5 small meals a day since I often can't eat a regular meal, or not at all in the evenings. This week I'm going to figure out just how much I can reasonably do in a day. I still want to enjoy life, despite my pain, but I can't push myself so hard that I make things worse. I hope I am pleasantly surprised at just how much I can do.

My son told me that some guy predicted that it would be common for humans to marry robots in 2050. I told him that if I'm still single by then, I'd like to marry a coffee maker.

If anyone knows of a nice single coffee maker that is available, send him my way.

~b~

I hesitate

2011-10-06T23:00:00.001-06:00

I hesitate to write this post, but my blog posts pile up in my head like a queue and if I want to blog about my awesome trip to Rockridge Canyon and my hilariously terrifying adventure down a zip line I'd better get this one posted.

On Sickness

For the past month and a half I have been sick with the worst sinus infection ever (it must be true, just look at the italics). This means constant headaches, constant fevers and no energy. After multiple trips to the doctor's offices and three different antibiotics, my head felt like it was going to explode at work, and my ear infection was so bad I couldn't fall asleep because my ears were ringing so loudly. I am so thankful that my headache finally stopped before my trip to B.C. last week. Since I got home from B.C I've been experiencing some pain that seems to get worse every day (to the point where I need to take T3's to get through the day). It sucks to realize that I will probably be sick for a while, and to not know why I am in so much pain, or why my immune system is so crappy.

I've never been direct about my faith on my blog before, but I can't imaging going through this past year without it and I can't seem to get this post out of my head. So if God or faith makes you squeemy, you might want to skip the next paragraph or two.

Last year about this time I shared with my community at Journeys things I was learning. One of the verses I shared was Habukuk 3:17-19, which I admitted I really didn't understand. But I can say now I get it. Here is the lowdown on the passage: Everything sucks. There is nothing and no hope for a future and yet Habbi (as I like to call him) looks outside his circumstances and rejoices and is joyful in God. Habbi says that God gives him strength, he's like a deer, he's able to go up high mountains. (This whole rejoices and joyful in God seemed so ridiculous to me).

After a year full of panic attacks, surgery, depression, and lots of sickness, I can definitely say that the only thing that can get me through the darkest nights of my soul is God. Looking at the wrong things, like my immediate circumstances only brought fear and despair. I thought I was just being melodramatic, but fear and despair is simply the product of looking to myself for control over my immediate circumstances. But when I look outside my circumstances to God I see he is in absolute control and I believe he has a plan for me. Seeing my situation in this way brings me such peace and comfort and all I want to do is praise and glorify God. And I don't think that I could write that last sentence truthfully, until I had experienced all the muck and yuck in this past year.

I wish I could wrap this post up nicely by saying how peppy and energetic I felt, but that'd be a lie. So for Round 2, I am simply going to Be Still, which is probably the hardest thing to do as I am such a doer and achiever. To me, this means living in the moment in each day. It means trusting that I will have the strength to get through each day and not worry about getting through tomorrow, or the next day, or next week. It means instead of feeling stuck, I just need to see what I can do with the energy and opportunities I have on a daily basis.

And so this is how I choose to respond while I wait to get my health back:

Adjust my plan. I still have things I want to achieve, and there's no reason why I should give up and do nothing, I just need to adjust my approach into teeny weeny little steps, until I am strong enough to run in leaps and bounds.

Steward wisely. I think it is easier sometimes to live with "less" (money/time/energy), because you are forced to be responsible and being wasteful could be disastrous. There is little room for error. I don't have the luxury of wasting my time or energy, I need to be spending my energy on the most important things. I'm just happy if I can work a full day and come home and be a good mom.

It is inevitable that sometime in our life we will go through some really hard struggles, but if there is anything I learnt from my dad it is that I can have ongoing health problems in my life and still laugh, love, and enjoy life

~b~

Dreams. I am Mother. Groceries. And Other Random Thoughts

2011-09-15T19:22:00.001-06:00

Lately my dreams have featured background music. Last night it was Martin Sexton. It was definitely a great way to wake up. I won't bore you or confuse you with the details of my dream, but it included some biblical imagery. Sorta. Instead of the lion and the lamb, it was the wolf and the gopher.

Here is what's been going on the last few days in my world:

This is my son and I. He calls me Mother. As in: Mother drives me to school in the morning. Or, Mother is sitting on the couch with me watching TV. (He was talking with my mom). I feel so regal when he calls me Mother.

I'm pretty sure I promised him I wouldn't share this photo, but I love how happy he looks.

Yesterday we ate lunch together and he told me that one of the EA's was going to start a club.

"Oh really?" I said, "is it going to be a Manchester club?"

"Kinda" my son replied. "It's going to be a hairy chest club".

"How is that anything to do with Manchester?" I asked him.

"You know" he said: "Man-Chest-Hair".

Ha!

Yesterday I went to Costco and they made a big deal of running over and getting some boxes to pack my items. This is how they pack my stuff:

Box 1: Lotion, Cheese, Spinach. Box 2: Meat, Creamer, Butter.

Then this morning I stopped at Sobeys and when I got home I unpacked a bag. It contained one litre of milk and one can of tomato soup.

Must be the new trend in groceries.

I'd better stop this post, or I'll have nothing to write about tomorrow.

~b~

On Fear and Avoidance

2011-09-13T20:59:00.000-06:00

Last night I started reading Woman Food and God (Geneen Roth). She brings up the point that eating can be a way of bolting from ourselves, how we distance ourselves when reality isn't matching up to our expectations.

Bolting. Avoidance.

This is something that I have just realized is my main coping mechanism. It is one of those unhealthy coping mechanisms that worked for me when I was a child, but when I use it in adulthood it probably does more damage to myself than prevents hurt or pain.

There are so many ways that I try to avoid pain, or even the possibility of pain that it seems ingrained in my daily actions. I use my phone to surf the web or text with a friend when I'm out in public, so that I can avoid feeling socially awkward, or even have to talk to the people around me. I have no problem changing my route if I don't feel like talking to someone I see up ahead. I develop my relationships only to a depth where I still feel safe and in control. I spend more time daydreaming or reading than actually doing.

Geneen Roth explains how if we as adults believe the pain will kill us we are seeing through the eyes of our fragile self. I believe that my actions ultimately stem out of my beliefs, but I also think that my actions affirm the beliefs I have about myself. Running away gives strength to fear. It affirms the belief that I can't handle things. It gives power to the idea that I am too fragile or weak to handle the pain, hurt, or embarrassments of life. It is affirming to myself an identity of weakness, fragility, and insecurity.

In Donald Millar's blog post today, he talks about experiencing pain because it allows for growth. For what seems like too long, I have felt stuck and unable to move forward. But I wonder now, if I need to leave behind the me that operates out of fear and avoidance. Before I can begin the next chapter in life, I need to leave in this chapter the part of me that continually tells my self I am too weak to handle the hard stuff of life.

~b~

Friday Randoms

2011-09-09T08:13:00.002-06:00

Three good shows that only lasted 2 seasons:

Dead Like Me

Pushing Daisy's

Flight of the Conchords

Forever Ago I Got My Haircut:

As I bonus I got my hair curled (my stylist felt sorry for me because I wasn't feeling to great). I loved my curly hair!

Twitter

I've been trying to cut back on the amount of online reading I do because I'm convinced its promoting my short attention span and hindering a lack of deep thought. And then Steve Jobs resigned. I'm sick of being the last to hear breaking news. So I finally joined twitter. You can follow me @BeckySchurman, or even better, tell me your username so I can follow you.

My Son

One benefit of having a teenager that is taller than me is that he can now reach up high to places I can't reach. Sweet. He can also carry in more groceries into the apartment than me. The years of cooking him meals is finally paying off.

One drawback to having a teenage son is that he'll say things to me like: "I'll bring my fan in and waft it all over the place" (He is talking about wafting the smell of his stinky socks all over the apartment). Eww.

Binary Solo

I bought leisure passes this weekend for my son and I. It ended up costing $101.10. I'm pretty sure I remarked: Ooooh, binary numbers, to the cashier. I blame the end of this song for my dorky remark:

Have a great weekend!

~b~

Thoughts on Life - On being irreplaceable.

2011-08-19T09:33:00.000-06:00

During Joel's funeral service at the beginning of June, I remember sitting there surrounded by sadness and realizing the unavoidable finality of death. I sat there questioning the point of life and why we are given this time, this life.

And so this summer I have been thinking a lot. Thoughts about living my life, knowing that someday I too will end my time on this side of eternity.

Here is one thought that have been thinking.

Where are you irreplaceable?

In certain relationships you are completely irreplaceable. To your friends, your family and especially your children you are completely irreplaceable. Invest in these relationships because it is where you will make the greatest impact. Be intentional in what type of impact you will make. Give them your time, your attention, and your best energy. It is in these relationships that you will leave the biggest void when you are gone.

Prioritize these relationships above your career. You are completely replaceable in your job. There will always be somebody else to fill your position. Even if you should accomplish something great in your career, it will eventually be forgotten, become obsolete, or overshadowed by the next best thing. Besides, your coworkers will remember you for how you treated them and the memories you've shared, rather than the job that you did. And your friends and family don't care about your job title or the salary you make.

For me, prioritizing my closest relationships over my career has meant saying no to potential job opportunities that don't fit well with raising my son. It means setting limits on the amount of time and effort I spent in developing my own skills and knowledge. It means that I make sure I am well rested,
and that I don't fill my days with so many tasks that I become stressed out. I want to give to others all my good energy and patience, not my crabby, stressed out self. It means me remembering that my actions influence those closest to me more than what I say or strive to be and that these actions are a result of where my focus is.

I want the people closest to me to know that they are more important that the accomplishments I achieve. I want to strive to become a person who lives out my values and beliefs, so that perhaps, these values will be imparted to those around me. I want to be be remembered for my love of life, not the love of my work.

~b~

Friday Night Randoms

2011-07-22T20:58:00.000-06:00

Lately I've been so busy hanging out with friends and enjoying the wonderful summer evenings that I haven't been been spending time thinking or writing. So my brain is demanding some form of creative output and yet my mind is busy planning out next week camping trip.

My thinking is getting all jumbled up and I'm easily distracted. I get songs getting stuck in my head. I start making grocery lists and packing lists. I imagine dragonfly farms in greenhouses manned by little children in safari hats. And I try to create any type of order by categorizing things into lists.

I sound crazy. I'm definitely ready for some time at the lake.

I hope to write some posts that have a bit of substance to them, but until then, in order to satiate my brain for the next few days, here is another list of randoms:

This would have been my favorite RUN (ONE)43 picture, had I not been focusing on the landscape in the background:

Semi racing, a new Saskatchewan sport.

This one looks like an imminent disaster is about to happen. And I just realized the horizon is all crooked.

Look out for the van!!!!

My co-worker made a comment about my sexy butt this week. I'm definitely going to be biking again in next year's RUN (ONE)43 ultra-marathon if I keep getting comments like that one!!

This morning my friend sent me a text before I was too coherent to read. I thought it was about hot dogs and a policeman. But it was actually about a hot policeman and a canine dog. As she was looking out her window this morning she saw some punk kid running out of her garage.

When she told me that she opened the window and yelled: Hey, you little fucker. All I could imagine was her standing in her kitchen in an old house coat, with curlers in her hair, and a cigarette dangling from her mouth. (Just to let you know, she doesn't look like that, my imagination just gets a little carried away sometimes all the time).

Ever since I heard Massey and the Fergusons played at Taste of Saskatchewan this weekend. I can't get a certain song out of my head. It's pretty much the same line. Over. And over. And over again. Please help. Even so, I definitely enjoyed listening to a great show and might even "like" on Facebook.

For those of you who don't know me well, I am a huge introvert. A friend posted this link on facebook a while ago on myths about introverts. I couldn't agree more.

I'm heading up to see grandmere and grandpere this weekend. I haven't seen them in a while, so I'm looking forward to the visit. They've been married for over 70 years and I used to hope to have a marriage like theirs. She's the excitable, energetic one, he's the solid quiet one. They also aren't french.

My attention span seems to be getting shorter and shorter. Perhaps I should be on twitter.

~b~

RUN (ONE)43

2011-07-19T22:18:00.000-06:00

This past week I was apart of RUN(ONE)43 . It's an ultra-marathon that started Thursday to raise awareness of the more than 143 million orphans in this world. One kilometer for every million orphans, starting in North Battleford and ending in Saskatoon.

On Thursday I took the day off work and headed to North Battleford to take some pictures and cheer on the participants.

North Battleford. Day 1. Hi Shae!!

I had the opportunity to meet an awesome couple who is also in the process of adopting. They were part of the support crew the first two days are were incredibly encouraging as they cheered on the runners.

On Saturday I was part of a cycling team. My friends husband and brother in-law biked from North Battleford to Saskatoon, while the rest of us started in Langham.

Saturday. Day 3.

It was great to have the opportunity to participate and we loved stopping at the runners pit stops to hang out with the support crew during the morning.

I think we spend a little too much hanging out because going down Horsefly Alley in the heat of the day was tough. However, finishing the day was very rewarding and I'm looking forward to participating again next year.

Heidi and Ian running to the finish line.

The money raised will go to support a couple who is currently in the adoption process as well as a baby home in South Africa and the Saskatoon Adoption Support Centre. Check out the RUN143 website to find out more about this crazy ultra marathon, or to make a donation using the link at the top.

~b~

Eleven Randoms for Seven/Eleven

2011-07-11T22:15:00.000-06:00

One

Lately when I've been coming home to a hot house, I remark to my son: Boy, I'm hot . . . visually speaking . . .

He has yet to respond. hee hee hee

Two

I had big plans this summer to visit my brother in Mexico City, but a few unexpected expenses put a kibosh in those plans. You really didn't need to know that I am now not going to Mexico City, I just wanted to write a sentence with the word kibosh in it.

Three

The back of my car has golf clubs, a life jacket, tennis rackets, and a bicycle pump. We are definitely enjoying this warm season. Also, I am too lazy to bring it all into the apartment.

Four

Over the July long weekend I read The Help by Kathryn Stockett and Emmanuels Veins by Ted Dekker. I forgot how nice it is to spend a hot summer day getting lost inside a good story. I also kept sneaking into the trailer to read more chapters of the book I was reading and would keep reading until I would hear people wonder where I had gone too.

Five

This is Gracie. She lives on a farm near Cut Knife. She is a cow who thinks she is a dog. I guess that makes her a Dog-Cow.

Gracie the Dog-Cow from Cut Knife

Six

I love reading. I just bought: Room (Emma Donoghue), The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet (Reif Larson), Imperfect Birds (Anne Lamott) and the latest Inked Magazine, just because Ami James is in it. I can't wait to get reading!

Seven

I'm a sucker for guys with tattoos.

Eight

I don't know if I blogged about it last year, but RUN 143 is happening this week. It's an ultra-marathon that is raising money and awareness for adoption and the 143 million orphans in this world. This year it is from North Battleford to Saskatoon I'll try and blog about this more this week.

Nine

My son told me that he has a rhyming phrase that describes me: Your loud and your proud. . . at least I think your proud.

I'm not too sure how to take this.

Ten

Every time we drive over the Broadway Bridge towards home, we wave to my friends who happen to live in an apartment overlooking the Victoria Bridge. I don't even think they could see us if they looked out their window, but we always send happy thoughts their way. We once had a bicyclist turn to look over his shoulder to see what we were waving at. Ha!

Eleven

This is my 250th blog post. Pretty profound and insightful, hey?

~b~

2011-06-22T23:02:00.000-06:00

I've constructed and reconstructed sentences in my head, trying to write this post. But I just don't know how to begin.

At the beginning of this month, as I was packing up to leave Edmonton, I received a call from my friend telling me her fiance had passed away from a heart attack. In an instant my friend lost her best friend and the love of her life. His family lost a brother and a son, and his children and her children lost a father.

I hate that I cannot take away the pain and sorrow that comes from this kind of loss. I hate that I can't tell her when she will stop waiting for him to walk through the front door, because I still show up expecting the big red truck to be parked outside. I can only be there to help out where I can, to listen, and to share in good memories and it all just seems so inadequate.

It hurts to see the void that is left in the life of my friend, the children, and his family. It grieves me so very deeply when I think back to when they both met. The excitement after that first date, watching how happy he made her, and to capture on camera those shared looks that showed how much they loved each other. I grieve for the loss of dreams and of planned futures.

I will remember a man who wore cowboy boots, Wranglers and a cowboy hat. A man who made me snort pop out my nose the very first time I met him and has kept me laughing ever since. And I'm glad I take my camera to document the random moments of life. Because now I have pictures that remind me of all the good times. Pictures of fishing for perch with the setting sun and the tipis lining the riverbank, a weary look after demolishing the bathroom, and all the laughing that occured around the kitchen table. And especially of a face etched deep with smile lines from a life of jokes and laughter.

~b~

Junio Uno

2011-06-01T10:06:00.000-06:00

Today is my birthday. Feel free to text or Facebook me well wishes. Here are some random thoughts from this morning:

I never thought I'd shop for groceries and consider a "treat" to be a $2 avocado and $4 raspberries.

I now have more than two white hairs, I have been upgraded to "a few". I still pull them out though.

I also have one white eyebrow hair. What's up with that??!! I've been refraining from pulling it so I can show my co-worker. I'm weird. I know. But so is a white eyebrow hair.

I'm gonna try and get Bono to wish me a happy birthday to me tonight - wish me luck!!

The sun is shining, the birds are probably singing somewhere, I just got back from a massage and I'm headed out of the city. Life couldn't get any better.

Happy Birthday to Me!

~b~

Thankful

2011-05-22T13:04:00.000-06:00

This past year I have gained a deep appreciation and gratitude for life, health and freedom.

About a year ago I started getting sick on a regular basis. I started to become sick so frequently that I was convinced I had some horrible condition: Lyme disease, West Nile, a brain tumor, cancer, Menairs disease. (I definitely recommend that if you are going to self diagnos your self using the internet to remember Occam's razor: the simplest explanation is most likely the correct one). I don't even know what Menairs disease is.

Some times I would be so sick that the hours would feel like days and the days would feel like weeks as I lay in bed fighting a fever, nausea or vertigo. Some days I would be well enough to to sit up and watch tv or read a book. I'm glad that I had accumulated so many days of sick leave at work, because in the past year I have taken seven weeks of sick leave.

During the times when I was sick I felt so isolated. I was confined to my house, and often to my bed in my room and sometimes to my mind. It was frustrating to think and plan, but not be able to carry out my thoughts, ideas or plans. I felt horrible for not even having the energy to make my son supper or do the laundry.

Thankfully, I have a doctor who is quick to sent me for tests and to specialists and I soon found out I had an ovarian cyst. By December I was in so much pain I couldn't sit or stand comfortably. With every step I took I was well aware of the mass growing inside me that could have been malignant or benign. I couldn't sleep properly and I started have trouble eating. At the beginning of January I had surgery to removed the cyst and spent a few weeks at home recovering. This past year I have been working on getting my health and strength back.

Had my health and connection to others not been taken away for a bit, I would have never appreciated or been thankful for a day like yesterday.

Yesterday I had the energy to do a bunch of boring chores: laundry, dishes, errands.

Yesterday I let my son sleep in and then woke him up to eat the breakfast I had made for him.

Yesterday I went on an epic bike ride that involved a stop at Homesteads (try the British '99). We biked for 18 kilometers.

Yesterday the wind pushed me to pedal harder, it left a layer of dirt on my hot sticky skin, it gently blew the smell of the water to me, and brought with it that beautiful sound of rushing water to my ears.

Yesterday I had the best shower ever.

Yesterday I had the energy to work on the "its not a bulletin" information handout for my church, Journeys .

Yesterday I got to "encourage" my son into coming for a bike ride and managed to stay positive, despite his grumbly, mumbly, rude teenage self.

Yesterday I got to hang out with friends who love me enough to speak truth into my life and not let me keep pushing things below the surface.

Yesterday I let my son stay out way late, before picking him up.

Yesterday I fell asleep exhausted, happy and thankful to have the health to live life.

~b~

ps. "encouraging" is just a nice way of saying I bribed my son to come hang out with us by telling him to meet us at Homesteads and then telling him he couldn't hang out with his friend unless he biked back with us.

Mothers Day

2011-05-10T21:29:00.000-06:00

One year I took my son on a trip to Edmonton for his 7th or 8th birthday. After checking into the hotel, the first stop on our itinerary was a trip to the Science Centre. We had only been there for an hour or so when he ended up breaking his arm. Ironically, he broke his arm while running at the human body exhibit.

The rest of the day was spent at the first aid station, then a mediclinic, and finally to the ER at the childrens hospital. He ended up have surgery to get a pin in his arm so our entire trip was spent at the Stollery Children's Hospital.

All I can remember is the 6+ hour wait in the emergency room where I had to rig up a "bed" for him using two chairs which faced each other. Apparently, all he remembers is a comment I must have made to one of the doctors.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are my mother and I love you. Happy Mothers day.
Your going to buy me a game cause you almost risked my life at edmonton cause you thought I was a whimp when I broke my arm.

Being a single mother, I never get a gift for mothers day, so this year I decided to change that. I sent my son along with his mentor to the mall with some money and a few specific suggestions. When I picked him up I could see that he had a Body Shop bag and I told him that if he would like a nice gift bag to please let me know, as I had a few saved.

While its nice getting a gift on Mothers Day, it is more important for me to teach my son how to be thoughtful and give a gift. My favorite part of the day was the huge smile on his face when he brought out my gift. My second favorite part of the day was his garbage bag gift bag that he had made.

In case your wondering, he bought me Almond and Shea Body Butters, a Starbucks gift card, and Mumford & Sons- Sigh No More.

~b~

The Best Part of My Day(s)

2011-05-06T16:21:00.000-06:00

I've been having a rough few weeks, so I decided this week to name one thing that was the best part of my day. This is what it was this week:

Sunday
Taking my bike out for the first time this year. Loved it.

Monday
My shower. I had a really emotionally draining day, but my shower at the end of the day seemed to wash everything away. Plus, I was shiny and clean. Actually just clean, not really shiny.

Tuesday
Getting tickets to see the musical Wicked, with really great seats: 1st row, second balcony. I'm definitely looking forward to a night out with a group of fun ladies.

Wednesday
Green Grass. The first thing I noticed when I left the house in the morning was how green the grass looked after the storm. It turned out to be a rough day for me, so I'm glad I picked this days "best part" so early in the day.

Thursday
Getting Kings of Leon tickets. I'm so so excited to go to this concert. I could go on. But I won't. Except maybe to say that I love Kings of Leon. So so excited.

Friday
It's Friday, what could be better than that? Also, that my friend phoned me just before work to have a quick chat and wish me a Happy Friday. We have been phoning each other to wish each other a happy friday for over 3 years now, I love it.

What was the best part of your day?

~b~

Incredulous . . .

2011-04-10T20:28:00.000-06:00

Is how I felt when I took this picture:

False Alarm

Almost every evening around suppertime I hear the faint urgent beeping of a fire alarm going off in small staccato bursts. It gives me a small smile, for some reason, to know that someone on our floor has burnt their supper - again.

Last weekend I came home after spending a nice evening out enjoying a good conversation and eating steak paired with a nice Melbec. I was looking forward to enjoying the apartment to myself when I heard the fire alarm going off. With no smell of smoke and no activity in the hallway I ignored the endless droning sound that conveyed no sense of urgency. That is, until I heard the building manager running down the hallway banging on apartment doors and yelling: EVERYBODY OUT!!

So I did what any sensible adult would do: I grabbed a backpack and filled it with my prized possessions. Which happened to be my Nikon d90 with lenses, and my MacBook Pro. I glanced at the Xbox 360 and hoped it would perish in the fire. I pictured it melted into a puddle on the floor. I also decided to wear my black spring jacket - it looked better with my outfit. A vain mistake I would soon regret.

I headed outside and milled around the doors of the building trying to find out what had happened. A small baby was crying. He was only wrapped in a small blanket, so I suggested he and his mother join me in my car to keep warm. The nights events were pretty anti-climatic after that. I watched steam billowing out of the vents of the laundry room and people in apartment units who peered curiously out at us. The fire department never showed up and we were eventually allowed back into the building. I went to sleep in my clothes, just in case. Color coordinated, of course.

Crazy Lady Steals Fire Extinguisher? or The Story Behind My Wall Post

This week I went to see a specialist at RUH with my son. We ended up having to park in the exorbitantly priced parkade. We took our time leaving, looking at photos of Saskatoon on the walls of the walkway and getting out of the way of the train when it honked its tiny horn at us. We soon desended down the stairs and made our way to the pay station with our parking ticket. A lady was in front of us. As we reached the bottom and took our place in the queue, I watched as the lady in front of us noticed the fire extinguisher located in a box on the wall across from us. Walking over to the fire extinguisher, she first tested the handle to see if the door would open. It did. So she proceeded to slowly open the door and tentively touch the extinguisher. She then took if out from its case, eyed the extinguisher up and down, even testing out its weight. It must have been to her satisfaction because she proceeded to rejoin the queue, right in front of me.

I couldn't believe my eyes, so I decided to take a picture. She noticed that I had my phone out and decided to put the fire extinguisher back. My son was so embarrassed that I would take a picture and I could hear him muttering in protest behind me. Later, when I asked him why he would care what a stranger (and a would be thief) would think I me taking a picture, he angrily retorted: She's obviously ill, Mom. I definitely can't disagree with his statement. I decided to phone RUH, so they could check that they still have a fire extinguisher, but I can't help but wonder what else she has in that big black backpack of hers.

~b~

Birthdays

2011-04-03T08:47:00.000-06:00

For anyone who gets to know me well they will probably realize that my dorkiness and lameness is proportional to my mood and energy. They also probably know that I like to celebrate birthdays with cakes and cards.

On Thursday (March 31st) I thought I'd celebrate the birthdays of two people. I also wanted to eat cake and visit with my friends that evening.

So even though Robert Bunsen (the chemist behind the Bunsen burner) has been dead for many many years, and my brother is in Mexico City right now, I thought I could still celebrate their birthdays.

Check out the accompanying video:

I don't know what I liked more about this video: that I yelled at my friend to SING, that they actually start to sing, that I "zoom" into my brothers name for visual interest, or that it ends with the one candle being blown out.

I've decided to start the reminders for my birthday early this year: June 1st is in less than 2 months!

I'm debating whether I should send out special reminder cards again.

~b~

Little Things

2011-03-28T22:09:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I get so focused on wanting to accomplish big achievements that I forget that to get anywhere, you have to start small.

This post is a list of all the little things that I have accomplished recently.

Early Mornings

This year, I've been working on self-discipline. Since the beginning of February I've been going to bed at a decent hour and getting up early to read and think and write and enjoy my coffee in solitude. It's slowly becoming my favorite part of the day. Lately, my computer has been acting wonky, so this morning I finally backed up my hard drive. I ended up having to google a few things but I think I did pretty good trying to figure out the best way to partition my external hard drive at 6:30 this morning without a full cup of coffee in my system.

Lent

I'm pretty ignorant about what Lent is so I thought the best way to learn was to participate. It didn't start off too great (I forgot to eat pancakes) and it was really tough in the beginning. I found myself glowering at people who gave something easy up like Facebook or television. I was so cranky, I thought I would lose some friends in the process, so I put myself in a self-imposed exile for a week. But it's been getting better and I definitely see the value in learning through doing.

My Son

As a parent I get wrapped up in my son's obstacles. It's been a tough year being a parent. But last Friday was awesome. In the afternoon my son helped out at my mother's work. Not only did he spend the afternoon helping to move furniture and boxes, but he worked with people who are intellectually disabled. I am so proud of him for working so hard without complaining and especially for being so accepting of people who are different. (This isn't really an accomplishment on my part, I just don't brag about my son very often).

Money

I've been trying to approach my spending and lack of saving in a more disciplined way. My immediate goals are to get out of my line of credit and to save enough money to go on a trip this summer. But more importantly, I just want to approach my finances in a more consistent and discipline way. I've been following Gail Val-Oxlade money jars system. It is easy and simple. I either have money to spend or I don't.

Thoughtful Tuesday

I'm lazy when I think of names and titles, and tend to use alliteration. Thoughtful Tuesday is an example of this. Thoughtful Tuesday is something I started a few weeks ago. It's basically engaging in an act of kindness or giving to others and sharing what I've done, in order to inspire others to engage in their own acts. Last week I made three Kiva loans and posted it on Facebook. I don't participate every Tuesday, mostly when I remember (or have money), but it's a really easy and simple way to focus outward.

What small thing have you done lately?

~b~

Tattoos

2011-03-22T18:49:00.000-06:00

I met a friend for lunch at Amigos on Friday and had the most amazing lunch I've had in a while.

We ate Black Tiger Shrimp with Peppers and Onions in a Zippy Santa Fe Sauce with Coconut Rice and BBQ Black Beans. YUM!!!

While we were there I mentioned that I thought it was time to get another tattoo. I would love to get a tattoo on my wrist, but I wasn't sure I want to commit to getting a tattoo in spot that can't be covered up. My friend thought it was a great idea and told me if I went to ROP that afternoon, she would buy me a coffee. I was excited by the impulsivity of the whole idea and decided I would grab a ride home to change my jacket before stopping in at ROP.

I've know my friend for 23 years and as I was at home getting, I remembered the time we had a sleep over and she convinced me to stick my head through the railing and tie me up with a bunch of rope. I think we were re-enacting a Houdini stunt of some sort. Anyway, I just remember being tied up with my head stuck through the railing and I think I may have ended up crying.

I decided to not get a tattoo that afternoon.

On Sunday at church, my favorite little person showed me her stickers that were all over her arms and legs. She then proceeded to transfer them onto my arm one by one.

Each sticker was placed on an empty spot on my arm, and smoothed down so they remained stuck. It took a painfully long time to complete this process, but I couldn't say no to such a cute face.

And now I know what I would look like if I ever decide to get a full sleeve.

Those smiley faces are definitely me. What do you think?

~b~

Robbie Burns

2011-02-02T20:06:00.001-06:00

The only thing crazier than the weather (from -33 yesterday to -3 today), is the fact that I never seem to get around to posting my blog posts. Here is a blog post I wrote last week, but never got around to posting:

Besides loving the Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon, and drinking Irn Bru pop, I really don't know a lot about Scotland, let alone who the heck Robbie Burns is. However, I wasn't going to let that small detail stop me from attending a Robbie Burns Supper the other week.

I spent better part of the night trying to figure out who this Robbie Burns character was. Robbie Burns likes women. Robbie Burns seemed like a philanderer. Robbie Burns had 11 children.

We ended up sitting at a table with some older ladies. They were retired teachers that come every year to the supper together. They were very proud of their heritage. One lady informed me that her grandmother came to Canada from Scotland. Another lady at the table could trace her roots back to the 1600's! They were very friendly. In fact, I was informed that I sounded well read and was then recommended some books to read: The Kings Speech, and How Scotland Invented the Modern World. I will have to have to put them on my books to read list.

There are so many customs to a Robbie Burns supper which I found delightful. Carrying the haggis up to the head table by an official Haggis Carrier, followed by an ode and then a toast to the haggis.

This year was the 250th annual Robbie Burns supper. It is a way to celebrate scottish heritage through dance, music, and food. I would definitely go back next year to celebrate and sit with people I don't know just to meet people and hear stories about their heritage.

~b~

Monday Musings

2011-01-24T13:05:00.000-06:00

This past Saturday I attended a workshop that was put on by a local church and Food for the Hungry Canada. It was a time that gave you the permission to dream by brainstorming how to bring hope to people through ideas and actions.

The biggest thing I took away from that session was the impact of simply acting on one small idea. Here are some other thoughts that I came away with:

When you look at the overall picture, at the end goal, whether it is running a marathon, implementing a budget, or trying to change your lifestyle, it can seem overwhelming to the point where it can hinder you to start at all. However, everything starts with one small idea that is then turned into an action. FH was founded in 1971 and now works in over 26 countries that work towards sustainable community development through a holistic approach of addressing physical, spiritual, social, and educational needs. It started, however, with one man buying one very hungry child a bowl of soup in the streets of Saigon.

Passion. It struck me that this organization was a product of someone's passion. Passion is something I lack, and it is something I definitely notice when it is present in others. It made me wonder if getting to that place of having a passion starts simply with an urge or desire to do something, or change something and then simply taking that first step of action. It is through this process of acting, that passion grows into something that is noticeable to those around you.

While I am a planner by nature, and like to see the big picture and end goal, sometimes I just need to start by taking one first step and then being open to looking for further direction from there.

~b~

Me Want FOOD!!

2011-01-20T10:36:00.000-06:00

One of the things I love to do is get together with friends at some of Saskatoons restaurants. Here are some places I've been to:

La Bamba

La Bamba is located on Boychuk and is an authentic Mexican restaurant. I always order the tostadas with usually a Sol or a Corona to drink. There is a lot of different items on the menu that are delicious, but I just always know I will be happy eating the tostada. Every time I go, I find that the servers are always friendly. Besides the awesome food, the great Mexican atmosphere with the bright walls and the Mexican music that plays in the background makes La Bamba one of my favorite places to eat.

Bamba Margarita

Konga Cafe

I met with a group of friends to enjoy some caribbean food at the Konga Cafe. The server was very helpful giving me suggestions from the menu and we started the meal off with johnny cakes (a cornmeal flatbread), served with different sauces with various spice levels. I was happy that the semi-private back room was large enough to fit our large group. I would love to go back for lunch sometime, as I've heard the soup is amazing. If you want to check out Konga Cafe, it is located on Avenue H.

Johnny Cake at the Konga Cafe

Alexanders

I took my mother and son to Alexanders for lunch and my son order some monstrosity of a burger. I'm not a huge fan of burgers, and I'd rather meet for beer at Alexanders, but I found the sheer size of my son's burger to be astounding:

Burger Monstrosity at Alexanders

El Secondo

I was really excited to hear that Christies Bakery was opening a second location on Broadway. My friend and I popped in to check things out and decided to grab a latte. I loved the latte art my friend had, and was so excited to check out my latte art, but alas, it was just an abstract latte blob.

Ricebowl

I was nervous about organizing a supper at the Ricebowl, as I had never been there before, but the night was definitely a success. I can't remember what I ordered, but the server was very knowledgeable about all the dishes on the menu and gave some excellent suggestions. I ended up ordering one of their Korean specialities, and really enjoyed my dish. I even ended up ordering dessert, which is something I normally don't order at a restaurant.

Korean dish with Sake at the Ricebowl

Dessert at the Ricebowl

Keos

I'll always remember the first time I had Pad Thai at Keo's and I'm so happy I live close by now. Besides the Pad Thai, I enjoy ordering the Panag Curry (peanuty), and the Ginger Beef. They also have these gluten-free treats that are in the shape of a lotus flower, and I always pick one up for my friend when I go.

Pad Thai at Keos

Taj Mahal

I went to the Taj for lunch the other day, and ordered the Butter Chicken. Although, the menu is quite limited at lunchtime, we all ordered Butter Chicken, which tasted fantastic. The Naan bread was amazing and I'm not sure how I will adjust to eating Naan bread from the store after I have tasted how good Naan can really be. I enjoyed the atmosphere and would definitely come back for supper sometime. The service was quick and the servers were friendly, we even had the cook come out and discuss dietary concerns.

Taj Mahal

Here is a little 30 Rock humor to finish this post off:

~b~

Chemistry

2011-01-16T16:14:00.000-06:00

I went to the store to buy Thank You cards yesterday, but got sidetracked by the beaker and bubbly concoction on this card:

Against my better judgement, I stopped to take a closer look. And after opening it up, I immediately regretted spotting this card on the shelf.

It's things like this that make me embarrassed to have a Chemistry degree. Also, I think I must toughen up before the impending nauseating mush that is displayed mid-February.

~b~

Christmas Holidays Redux

2011-01-08T06:27:00.000-06:00

Before it gets to far into January I wanted to post some pictures from Christmas.

This year I drove up north to spend some time in the Flin Flon/Creighton area with friends. We had such a great time visiting this summer, that I thought a winter trip might be just as fun. This time we rented a very cute 2 bedroom cabin at Bakers Narrows.

We ended up arriving at Creighton late Christmas Eve. The bright stars shone in the dark sky, and the crisp air was filled with that wonderful smell of burning wood. We stopped by Aarons relatives house, which was packed full of family. I don't remember the names of everyone I met, but I do remember that Davin and I felt very welcomed, despite our lack of familial connections.

Christmas Day was spent opening presents and having a much needed nap. Santa managed to find Davin and I, even way up north. I loved getting the new Kings of Leon CD, Come Around Sundown and have been listening to it ever since.

Boxing Day was absolutely beautiful. We spent some of the day outside, exploring an island and checking out the lookout tower. We found Aaron's uncles ice fishing shack and stopped in to visit. He had a camera down one hole that was hooked up to a monitor inside. He caught a fish while we where there and we sat and watch the whole thing on the monitor. While fishing shows are pretty boring to watch on tv, watching that fish being caught, in real time was pretty cool. I'm proud to say that the only thing I bought on Boxing Day was a Manitoba fishing license!

Family picture after exploring the island.

In the afternoon, Aarons family drove out to visit us and we all squeezed into the very small, but quaint cabin. Staying at the log cabin was one of the highlights to my trip. The lighting looked antique, the room was decorated with pictures on the walls and on bedside tables that were of fisherman and their catches. Even the bedrooms had cute quilts with a very cabin-y feel:

I felt like I was living in a museum and I loved every minute we spent in the log cabin, it definitely made the Christmas holidays feel special.

Afternoon visit at the fabulous log cabin

In the evening we checked out the hot tub and watched the bright stars and the crazy guys who ran out and rolled around in the snow before jumping back in. The stars up north were magnificent. They are so bright and clear to look at. I would have loved to see northern lights, but the weather wasn't cold enough, and I would much rather enjoy the warm days.

The next day we headed out to the ice fishing shack. Despite my trepidation of ice fishing, as I originally thought I would be miserable, bitterly cold, and just standing around a small hole in the ground, I was wrong. The whole experience was very enjoyable. The ice fishing shack had everything we needed to be comfortable and a small wood stove at the front made it toasty warm inside.

Ice Fishing on Lake Athapap

I didn't have a fishing rod with me so I used a baited hook and fishing line tied to a small piece of firewood that was meant for kindling. We spent a good part of the day sitting in the dark shack listening to the ice crack as vehicles drove past. (I have to admit, I was freaking out at the sound of the cracking ice, it was not fun to hear). My favorite part was when I caught a jack, by pulling it out of that hole with my hands, after I put on my mitts, of course!

I took this last picture as were where heading back to Saskatoon on the last day. With the shorter days it was nice to be able to sleep in and still catch the sunrise:

It was so nice to leave all the Christmas plans, preparations and hype behind and spend time with friends just hanging out: playing games, being outside, and watching dvd's. I definitely felt welcomed and included when spending time with their family. And I'm glad I took a much needed holiday this Christmas.

~b~

January 4th

2011-01-04T23:32:00.000-06:00

One year ago plus a night I couldn't sleep. I was about to step out of the familiarity of my mundane life and my mind couldn't stop racing. I blogged about how my trepidation manifested in that jittery butterflies in your stomach which was coupled with the excitement that comes with change and new possibilities. I was tired. Really tired. But the excitement, along with a whole lot of caffeine kept me going through out the day. The whole year ahead of me seemed full of possibilities and I was filled with hope and excitement.

Last night I couldn't sleep. I had spent yesterday distracting myself from my stress by planning and preparing. The distraction didn't work. I spent last night wrestling with anxiety. Trying to control my anxiety before I had a racing heart and I feared imminent death - a full-fledged panic attack. I knew I just had to calm down and get the rest I desperately needed to think and feel properly. But my anxiety wouldn't go away. I cried out for comfort, wishing I still had Max. To stroke his fur. To hear him breath. To help me calm down. So I wouldn't be alone.

But I was alone. And Max was gone. I think I cried myself to sleep. Asleep to my dreams that are so vivid and so real. My anxiety found me in that place where my emotions reign, and logic and truth can't reach my ears. My dream played out my biggest hope and my biggest fear. My dream was filled with intense emotion. I woke up feeling that the true essence of me that is real and fragile and authentically me will never be good enough or never be attractive enough.

Being rejected, (in your own dream no less), is never a great way to start your day. Needless to say, I spent more of today crying, that I did getting prepared for the end of the week. I normally wouldn't admit that I'm emotional. I feel deeply. I'm vulnerable. I cry. But I think it's odd that January 4th seems fraught with emotion. Next year I'll have to watch out for January 4th, and plan accordingly.

I'm glad that it's the start of a new year, even a new decade and that tomorrow is a fresh day.

~b~

Christmas Holidays

2010-12-30T19:35:00.000-06:00

This Christmas I headed out of the city to spend my holidays up north. The one constant on the long drive up was the phalanx of trees laden with hoarfrost. As I drove further, the sun set and darkness settled over the crisp land. The snow and hoarfrost, illuminated by my headlights, stood stark against the pitch-black. A white wolf stood at the edge of the road and greeted me into the north. It felt magical. Perhaps it was just sentiments of Christmas Eve, but I haven't felt that kind of wonder or anticipation in a long time.

On the lookout tower at Lake Athapapuskow (Lake Athapap).

With no schedule and no "to do" list, I quickly lost track of time. I had no cell reception and limited internet access which made it easier for me to simply "be". I truly enjoyed spending time with friends and my family and enjoying the moments of the day. Spending time up north and being surrounded by so much beauty was just what I needed to finished off this year.

~b~

Phil, his Harmonica Orchestra and Other Christmas Cheer

2010-12-19T16:19:00.001-06:00

I've spent the month ushering in Christmas, too bad I can't seem to get the shopping finished.

Meh.

This is what I've been up to this month:

I started off the month with by going to a few Christmas parties.

My friend "volunteered" me to enter something into a bake sale with her, so I spent an evening hanging out and making these:

Reindeer Cake Pops

My very first attempt at Cake Pops. This guy was one of our "rejects". He looks so grumpy and unhappy and cute. I think he looks like a pirate, he was also very delicious!

I held my very first annual christmas party: The First Annual Un-Christmas Party Christmas Party to cater to the scrooges (like my son) and those holiday lovers. I thought the ambiguous name would also give me leeway in the decor as I didn't have any energy to decorate the house. Fortunately, the thought of entertaining guests gave me enough oomph to decorate this year, albeit on a much smaller scale.

My tree recently had a tragic accident:

Here's a closer look, I'm sure all those Starbucks haters out there will love this broken ornament:

Last week Journeys (my church) held a Christmas Coffee House. Besides the good conversations, the music, and the art, I really enjoyed this:

Extra Foamy Half Vanilla, Half Caramel Latte with bonus latte art- bellisamo!

Finally, I attended a concert put on by the Saskatoon Philharmonic Orchestra:

I enjoyed listening to music being performed by people I know, and I loved listening to some of the pieces from the Nutcracker, among others. Next year, if they play The Saber Dance by Aram Khachaturian, I'll be super pumped:

Saber Dance - edarem style

I hope you ignore your TO DO list, and gift list for a little while and spend some time simply enjoying this Christmas Season.

~b~

A List . . .

2010-12-05T22:38:00.000-06:00

After a week of getting sick and a week of being sick and a week and a half of getting over being sick. I'm back! I haven't felt this good in a very long while and what better way to spend my new found energy than writing a blog post in my favorite category: random.

Here is A List . . .

A quote . . .

It's not ugly. . . but it's not beautiful. It's simply . . . benign.

-Aaron, after installing a ceiling fan and commenting on it's appearance.

I love that the ceiling fan was described as benign. I think if said fan had feelings, they would probably be hurt.

A nom de plume . . .

Virginia Chesterfield

Should I ever publish a children's novel this name makes the top of my list of nom de plumes. I love the unconventional pairing of this Southern name with a large piece of furniture. Kudos to my friend Kimball for phoning me and sharing his 2 cents on the nom de plume matter.

A website . . .

Rock and Roll Bride

Quite frankly the idea of a traditional wedding in all its formalities and conventions scares me. This website isn't just about tattooed brides, but features eclectic styles, DIY's, and loads of vintage in weddings that showcase personality and unconventional beauty rather than over-commercialization .
disclaimer: I love this site for its photographs and especially the event details and NOT because I am single and obsessed with marriage . . . although . . . I've always wanted a mad hatter wedding cake and if I can ever find a special someone who let's me get my way, I'm in!

An iPhone photo . . .

A Beckman pH meter, made in the 1940's. I found this relic in the front office at work. It's so vintage.

A song . . .

Last Will and Testament - Propagandi

I love the first part of this song that is just instrumental.

A FACEBOOK STATUS!! (and resulting comments) . . .

Status: JUST TWEETED FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!! (yesterday)
Comment: that is disgusting
Reply: lol what??

I don't know what I love more. The exuberant announcement in all caps, the meek amendment that it was actually yesterday that the aforementioned tweet occurred, or the resulting confusion in the comments.

~b~

Chemistry

2010-11-24T22:50:00.000-06:00

In honor of Heck, Negishi, and Suzuki winning this years Nobel Prize in Chemistry I bought this:

Mac Eyeshadow in Folie.

(It's the matte purple one on the right, in case you really care)

It will remind me of all the fun times at university where I used C-C coupling reactions to make fancy dancy palladacycles. And where saying: What the Heck??!! Where the Suzuki is my Schlenk flask?? Was pretty funny.

~b~

Movember

2010-11-22T18:32:00.000-06:00

I'm lovin all the attempts at recreating the Tom Selleck and Ron Burgundy looks this month.

It's taken me a while, but I've finally grown a stache:

To support all my Mo Bros in raising funds and awareness for prostate cancer I've joined the Mo Munro team as a Mo Sista.

While all the attempts at growing a mustache this month may be pretty funny, a diagnosis of prostate cancer definitely isn't.

Please consisder supporting men's health and those affected by prostate cancer by donating to me or my team HERE.

~b~

Photo Request

2010-11-16T16:27:00.000-06:00

Some friends of mine asked me to use my super amazing photography powers and take some food pictures that they could use in their green kitchen.

I think they said something like: Becky: you are such an amazing photographer and wonderful talented person, could you please take some pictures of food that we can use in our green kitchen.

Then they said something about RAW. Then they said something like forget the RAW.

And then I got confused and thought that they wanted me to take pictures of raw food in a green kitchen, or that they are "those" kind of people that only eat raw food.

But then I thought: sounds like I am getting free reign to create a photograph(s) that would look great in a green kitchen.

I frequently enlist the use of parentheses in my thoughts.

Or not.

Of course, I said yes and immediately starting thinking about what I could photograph. I thought a variety of peppers (habanero, cayenne, chili . .) would look fantastic on a green wall. Or an ode to coffee snobbery with a shot of espresso or beans with all the browns would also look great. I began to think of plating and backgrounds and textures and started to get excited.

Then again, my laziness could over take me, and I could just end up giving them this photo I took at their place a while ago:

I call the photograph: Poached Egg in Black and White.

~b~

Townhouses and Daydreams

2010-11-14T18:39:00.000-06:00

One of the things I love is houses. There is so many things I love about houses, I love looking at floor plans and furniture layouts. I love perusing decorating magazines and looking at decor, art and of course organizational tools. I love all the little details it takes to complete a space: from the type of carpet, to the layout of the kitchen (definitely an important one for me), to the door knobs and the windows. What I love about houses is looking at a space and imagining all the possibilities.

A very good friend of mine has been managing a housing project in Saskatoon. The whole time she has been working on this project I have been adamant that I was NOT interested in buying a townhouse, merely because I was not a gated community-cookie cutter-suburbanite kind of person. I love my Broadway, with the trees and the shops and the crazy ladies who take their cats our for walks on leashes and I want to live as close as I possibly can.

This weekend my friend took me over to show me how things were coming along on her project.

I got the see the sports court that can be used as a tennis court and basketball court in the summer and can be flooded with water in the winter for skating. I got to see the amazing Clubhouse with the clay tiled roof. The Clubhouse has a fitness studio on one side and a place for entertaining on the other side. It has a wine bar, a stage to play Wii or karaoke, a poker table and seating all around. In the center is a double-sided fireplace. In my mind, I embellished the room by adding a Christmas party complete with a roaring fire, Christmas music and decorations, and friends drinking wine. Everyone was laughing and having a good time.

We stopped by the townhouses and I checked out the show home. It had an open floor plan with the kitchen at the back. I started imagining cooking for a houseful of guests, eating appetizers at the island, playing games at the dining room table and finishing the night with some coffee and good conversations in the living room. I could see the long kitchen island filled chocolate chip cookies that were cooling on racks with the smell of freshly baked cookies filling the room.

I went upstairs to look at the bedrooms and found a little nook at the top of the stairs that held a desk. I saw my laptop and books filling that nook. It was the perfect little spot to start writing my hilarious McCall Smith type novel that would most definitely be published.

One townhouse had a basement that is currently being developed. It had a laundry room, full bath, a bedroom, and an entertainment room, it would be the perfect space for my son to live. I imagined a big screen TV where my husband and friends could watch the game. (In my daydreams, I like to insert handsome husbands in). I neglected to dream up some couches and chairs, so the guys were just kinda milling around, drinking beer and watching the game, all the while standing in a room with unfinished concrete floors and bare drywall.

Here is a picture of the townhouse that I took with my iPhone:

Little Tuscany

I love the curvy swervy rails and the super cute window boxes. I love the stonework and the cute little shutters, I love the fine details of the cedar on the gables and best of all, I love that my friend has managed this huge project.

I was immensely surprised that I loved so many different aspects of these townhouses: from the layout inside, the amazing Clubhouse, and all the little details in the finishings. I forgot how much I hate the cookie cutter suburbanite lifestyle and I just wanted to go to the bank and talk about financing.

Even if I don't, Little Tuscany is one beautiful community. I'm definitely proud of my friend for managing such a huge housing project and I love seeing her project coming to fruition.

~b~

Change

2010-11-08T23:16:00.000-06:00

I haven't blogged for a while and to be honest I haven't really even wanted to write anything lately to avoid processing everything that has being going on.

I took some extended time off work at the end of September and was hoping to return with some grand vision of my life, complete with goals and amazing achievements. That didn't happen, but I did get more focused on what is important in my life and I gained some clarity in what should be my priorities. I realized that I should be making decisions that aren't based on my emotions, or even what I thought I wanted in life, but that I should be making intellectually wise decisions.

After months of feeling crappy and getting sick as well as vacillating between being paralyzed to make any kind of decision, or not having the energy to carry out any plans that I had, I knew that something had to change. One of the decisions that I kept putting off was about my dog, Max. Max had a partially torn ligament and a fully torn ligament and surgery was quoted at $1200-$3500 and 3 months of recovery, per leg. After avoiding even making a decision, I knew I needed to quit putting this one off. I felt that spending money on the surgeries and spending the extra time that would be required to help him heal properly would really be taking away from what I should be giving my son. I knew deep down in my heart that I would never be able to take him out to the dog park and see him trotting around happily sniffing a trail along the ground or chasing off after other dogs, without me becoming stressed out about his legs. With no reason to live in a house with a fenced yard, and with no desire to come home to an empty house full of memories, I gave notice and began looking for a place to live in the same area.

At noon on Friday October 29th, we took Max to the vet and put him down. Later that afternoon, I picked up the keys to our new place and began moving. I've spent the last week moving, and moving, and cleaning, and unpacking and my new place is starting to look like a home. I've been purposely keeping myself busy because I haven't wanted to deal with all these changes, but I think its time now that I try and find a rhythm to my day.

I didn't realize until Sunday morning how upset I have been about these changes. Emotionally, I am not okay with putting my dog down. I can't even look at a dog right now, and I really haven't allowed myself to think about Max. I realized Sunday morning that I'm angry. After struggling for too long on trying to find some kind of grand vision of what is going to happen next, I feel like this is definitely not what I wanted. I feel like everything I've wanted, everything I've hoped for, and everything I've dreamed of will never happen. Instead, I feel like I've been given a whole lot of crap that I have to deal with. I feel like I've taken a huge step back and it's hard to not dwell on what everybody else seems to have that I don't. I'm tired. I'm emotionally and physically tired and while I'm sure these changes have opened up new opportunities and possibilities I'm not sure if I really care to put in any effort. Most days, I just don't have it in me to try new things, meet new people, or even create deeper relationships with those people that are in my life right now.

The question that popped into my mind Sunday morning was: What are you willing to do to make the most of this season in your life.

I guess I have something to think about this week, and I will try to publish blog posts more frequently and more upbeat.

~b~

I recommend . . .

2010-10-21T15:22:00.000-06:00

I recommend that when you want to have a mini celebration.

And spend $15 on cupcakes from the fabulous Cupcake Conspiracy.

That you don't let your teenage son carry them into the house:

Here's another view:

So, so sad.

~b~

The War of the Worlds

2010-10-14T17:36:00.000-06:00

I've been reading in the evenings to my son in hopes of continuing his interest in reading. We are reading The War of the Worlds by H.G Wells that is a short, inexpensive book that is filled with alien machines, fighting and destruction. It seemed like a good first choice to start reading together. In the evenings we all hang out on my bed, I read out loud while my son listens (I think) and lovingly bothers Max the dog.

So far, we have read about the initial Martian arrival and have followed the panic filled flight from the ensuing destruction. I have been stumbling over the pronounciations of the English towns such as Chobham, Woking, Horsell, and Chertsey, but we have now finally reached the easily pronounable city of London.

The latest chapter that we are reading has shown London's reaction to the impeding disaster: from a blissful, sleepy ignorance to increasing panic with church bells ring in the middle of the night and policemen banging on every door, waking up sleeping residents and urging flight. I'm finding the style that the book is written in is hard to read out loud and towards the end of the chapters my throat is dry and my jaw is sore from speaking and I start hoping to get to the end of the chapter because I don't want to read out loud any more.

I was about to finish the chapter when I read this:

My brother heard footsteps running to and fro in the rooms, and up and down stairs behind him. His landlady came to the door, loosely wrapped in dressing gown and shawl. Her husband followed ejaculating.

?????

!!!!!

??!!!???!!

As much as I wanted to speed onto the next sentence, my mind prevented me. What!!! Did I just read what I think I read??? Could That Word possibly mean something else when it was written in 1898?? Could her husband have simply burst out the the room loudly yelling and gesticulating wildly??? What??!!!

Loosely wrapped dressing gown and shawl pretty much contextualized the whole scene in my mind and I just hoped my son was too busy bothering the dog to be paying any attention to what I was reading. I thought I had gotten away without some sort of explanation and could continue reading, and then my son said:

What??

Thankfully there was only one last sentence left and I quickly concluded the evenings read. The next book we read will definitely be a more well known book, like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Charlottes Web, or even Dr. Suess. ANY book without the word ejaculating I will gladly read.

~b~

Fall Photo Shoot

2010-10-09T12:00:00.000-06:00

I spent a couple hours last Saturday enjoying the beautiful weather and taking pictures of one cute girl. She just started saying my name and it kills me how cute it sounds: Beh-Key. I love it!

Taking pictures of a small child is tough. It was a constant battle to be more interesting than everything else.

I lost out to a bottle cap here:

I quickly learnt that children need lots and lots of time to play so they can be happy and smiling. I took a lot of successive shots and could have easily make a flip book that shows one happy face turn into an annoyed face.

We were lucky to find a sandbox at Innovation Place Park: the Zen Garden was filled with mounds of gravel and it was about this time that the shoes and socks came off:

I think I took about 500 hundred pictures that day. There were a whole lot of eyes closed - grumpy - not looking at the camera pictures.

But taking all those pictures is worth it when you get one like this:

Success!

It was such a beautiful day to hang out and take pictures. And all it took to procure my services that day was a trip to Homesteads for a Carrot Cake Ice Cream.

~b~

Thank you!

2010-10-04T22:09:00.001-06:00

I love helping out and was happy to help work on house reno's again the other weekend My prowess at using a cat's claw is nothing short of amazing. I also learnt how to hang siding and how to insulate a wall.

Here are some before and afterish pictures:

I also love going to concerts. Especially the last minute, spur of the moment, going to Arcade Fire kinda of concert.

Arcade Fire was awesome.

I think the beer fueled exuberance of the guys in front of us brought out a bit of my enthusiasm and I definitely had a lot of fun. During this past week I have been listening to Arcade Fire and it makes me happy because it reminds me of the awesome concert that I ended up going to.

So thank you Aaron and Karla for asking me to help work on you house. I always love to help out. And thank you thank you thank you for the Arcade Fire ticket and the great memory. The concert was amazing.

~b~

About Me

2010-09-24T12:09:00.000-06:00

I just added an About Me page and decided to add some of my favorite random posts.

As I was selecting posts at random, I realized that sometime since now and last year I've lost my humor. Or oddness.

Humor or oddness, I'm not sure which I had, or which I've lost, and I'm definitely not sure where "it" went exactly.

Nevertheless, here is my random selection of posts I included that show that I was once humorous (or odd) at one point in time:

Hairstyles of the Big and Brawny

I got a little carried away on my trip to Mount Rushmore and I took a gadzillion pictures of the buffalo there. After uploading my pictures I began to notice an uncanny resemblance to Dave Navarro:

I also love that if you google "hairstyles with less volume" you will eventually find a link to this post. Ha!

Blackened Chicken on Delicious Pizza Dough

After buying my Nikon d90 I found myself doing strange things like running outside with my blackened chicken to capture the last rays of the day. I'm awful at remembering to put recipes up, but when I do I guarantee they will be good.

Something in Your Teeth

I added this to feature my handsome, but daft dog-child Max. He's much better at posing than my cameraphobe teenager.

I May Be a Little Weird . . .

This post definitely highlights my weirdness and oddness, and I may have crossed the line in sharing too much, but if your curious check it out.

Find out my ideal BF and my ode to my special someone that I posted on FB on valentines day.

Confessions of a Beckarazzi

I'm not sure what got into me that day at the co-op, as I stalked little old ladies (LOD's) in the produce section, but you can read all about it.

Boys!

This has got to be one of the most embarressing things that has ever happened to me at church, or as a mother. Read this post to partake in my embarrassement.

Check out my About Me page and have a great weekend!

~b~

The League of Extraordinary Gentleman Carpenters

2010-09-20T15:38:00.000-06:00

My friend assembled a League of Extraordinary Gentleman Carpenters this weekend to work on some reno's. Like most projects, it started with replacing the stairs to the deck, which led to the discovery of water damage to the side of the house.

We spent the day removing the deck and replacing the damage to the house. Being the sole woman on the Extraordinary Gentleman Carpenter Crew, I helped out by prying and hammering and displaying my extraordinary first aid skills when someone stepped on a nail.

I guess, if I could sum up this weekend's reno project, I'd have to say: It's all fun and games until someone steps on a nail.

~b~

Strawberry Cream Cheese Wontons

2010-09-13T21:52:00.000-06:00

The Tasty Kitchen Blog featured a Nutella and Banana Wontons Recipe a while back. The warm gooey inside contrasted with the crispy sugary outside made a very good treat (okay, okay, I actually made this for supper).

I used plain old peanut butter instead of Nutella. I'm not a huge fan of peanut butter, so I got to thinking of other combinations that could be made and came up with strawberries and cream cheese, sprinkled with icing sugar:

Here is my version:

1 package of Wonton Wrappers
Canola Oil
1 package of cream cheese
Strawberries, sliced thinly
1 egg, beaten
Powdered Sugar

Line a cookie sheet with the wonton wrappers. Place thin slices of cream cheese and strawberries in the center. Wet two adjoining sides of the wonton square with the beaten egg. Fold the square and press the seams together to seal the wonton wrapper.

Pour enough oil in a frying pan to cover the wonton wrappers. Set the burner on high and heat the oil. When the oil is hot, fry each side of the wonton wrapper, to a golden brown color. Remove wontons and place them on a paper towel. Sprinkle with icing sugar and let them cool a bit before biting in.

For step by step instructions and photo's click HERE.

Enjoy!

~b~

In The Moments

2010-09-01T07:27:00.000-06:00

I think Sunday August 29th was the best day in August. But it didn't start that way. I really hate to admit this, but I had a cry that morning. And not just a stray tear that starts by welling up in my eyes and then spills over, rolling down my cheek. It was an ugly deluge of tears and sobs that left me exhausted, red-eyed, and with a throbbing headache. I was tempted to stay at home that morning from church in fear of sobbing through the entire service but I went, and aside from a few sad faces and a cracked voice during worship, I soon started to feel better.

It turns out my cathartic cry was just what was needed because when I went to bed that night I could hardly fall asleep, I was that happy.

And I thought about why my day would have been such a good day. The cold crisp air and hot cup of coffee in the morning was a perfect combination, but that wasn't why I was so happy. My clean kitchen floors, my organized spice drawer, and my afternoon nap did make my day more enjoyable, but that wasn't why I was so happy. The anticipation of a busy fall schedule is something I am definitely looking forward to, but that wasn't way I was so happy.

And I realized that my entire day was filled with people that I wanted to see. I spent some time visiting with family and old friends. I chatted with new friends who I am just starting to get to know and I had the chance to catch up with people I haven't seen all summer. My day was filled visiting, laughing and enjoying life, in the moment.

In the moment sharing dreams of the future. In the moment with jazz hands and a sabers dance rendition at Sunday's brunch. In the moment watching babies smile. In the moment getting to know people better. In the moment planning a grand kitchen design. In the moment singing happy birthday at a surprise party. In the moment watching people talk and laugh together.

As I fell asleep that night, I thought of each and every person I saw that day and I was thankful to have them in the moments of my day.

~b~

Books

2010-08-26T07:44:00.000-06:00

I think I've read more this year than I have in the past 10 years. To circumvent immense boredom that is bound to occur if I posted a blog on each book I've read, I thought I would compile a book list using an assortment of random categories.

Lakeside Reading

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larsson

The Girl Who Played with Fire - Stieg Larsson

Books that Made Me Think

Counterfeit Gods - Timothy Keller

Now, Discover Your Strengths - Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton. This book comes with an online assessment that highlights your five main areas of strengths. After reading mine I certainly make a lot more sense to myself and I feel kinda dumb that I couldn't see this in myself before. It's like when I "discovered" I had straight hair - seems kinda obvious now, but I was naively oblivious before.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years - Donald Miller

LL's Author Recommendation

Saturday - Ian McEwen A incredibly "knowledgeable in all things English" friend of mine recommended McEwen to me. I have always enjoyed her recommendations and so I started with Saturday.

Most Surprising Page Turner

The Host - Stephanie Meyer. This was a two night read for me. I'm not into teenaged vampire love and would have never read this had it not been recommended by two co-workers. Plus, I didn't realize who the author was until night two.

Short Stories

Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle You can download this Sherlock Holmes App (Sunscroll) and read Sherlock Holmes for free. I did at times, however, get annoyed with Watson's constant praise of Holmes intellect.

My Best Stories - Alice Munro. I thought I enjoyed the short story genre. So I read this well known Canadian author. Turns out I don't like story's of small towns and Canadian history.

Most Disappointing Read

An Echo to the Bone - Diana Gabaldon. This is the seventh book in the Outlander Series. These are long books and seven books makes a long series, but I've developed a literary crush on the main character. I thought this was the last book in the series and was looking forward to the ending. But the ending was left open ended and was not at all what I expected. Plus, sex between fictional characters in mid life just isn't as hot (at all) as when they were in their twenties.

Books I Bought For My Son and Then Borrowed
Octavian Nothing Traitor to the Nation - M.T. Anderson
The Lost Symbol -Dan Brown. I've always enjoyed reading a Dan Brown novel, not to be confused with the New York Times best-selling author Dale Brown. A mistake I made when I ran into McNally on afternoon and grabbed some books to bring with me to the lake.

(Not So) Secret (Anymore) Author Crush

Blue Like Jazz- Donald Miller.

Further Reads on Spirituality

Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith - Anne Lamott

Non Fiction

Empire of Illusion The End of Literacy and the Triumph of Spectacle - Chris Hedges

Hot, Flat, and Crowded - Thomas L. Friedman

How to Be a Better Foodie a Bulging Little Book for the Truly Epicurious - Sudi Pigott

Memories, Dreams, Reflections - Carl Jung

The Age of the Warrior: Selected Writings - Robert Fisk

Book That Did Not Disappoint My Expectations

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks - Rebecca Skloot.

In Progress

The War of the Worlds - H.G. Wells. I miss reading to my son at night, so I've started to again and I don't care that he's a teenager and not a little kid anymore. I'm gonna read, and he's gonna listen.

Beloved - Toni Morrison

Searching For God Knows What - Donald Miller

Sundays at Tiffeny's - James Patterson

~b~

Blackstrap

2010-08-18T19:00:00.001-06:00

After coming home from the city after August Extra Long, my friend drove straight to Blackstrap and set up her RV. I had to return to work, but the weather was just too nice and so I made a brief appearance at work on Tuesday and then headed back out of the city.

The campsites at Blackstrap were nice and large and the campground was fairly quiet. The nicest part was that because Blackstrap is so close to the city a number of friends ended up coming for evening BBQ's, an afternoon of tubing, or to stay and camp for a few days.

The weather was beautiful and after a week of rain, I'm glad I took summer holidays when I did.

We went fishing one morning:

This is me "fishing" . . . I did manage to catch a pike, to reward my hard effort and all.

When I returned from fishing, I found this note waiting for me back at the campsite:

One of my favorite memories is getting together with friends and preparing a meal together. It wasn't anything fancy, just a mix of leftovers from both campsites. But I loved spending time making a meal and sharing it together. Plus, I was very happy that I didn't have to make the fire.

~b~

August Extra Long

2010-08-16T20:04:00.001-06:00

I'm not really sure when time started to fly, but if feels like it was just a few days ago that I headed out of the city to the lake, and somehow, it feels like forever ago that I was at the lake.

I had taken the friday before August Long off, to make it an extra long weekend. I had just gotten over a horrible week of being sick so I decided not to go camping. Instead, I planned a Friday morning breakfast date and a quick trip out of the city on Saturday. By lunch I was sitting outside reading a book and soaking up the warm sun, when my friend phoned and again, asked me to go to the lake. I listed off my excuses as why I shouldn't go and as I heard myself speaking I realized how lame I was really sounding. I told her, I would think about it. One nap later followed by a few hours of picking up supplies and packing and I found myself in the passenger seat of a Pathfinder, heading off to Atton's Lake.

I wasn't too impressed with the park itself and the facilities took some getting use to. The sites are open and the nights were loud. But the beach was nice, the water was warm, and the lake bottom had no sea weeds.

After over a week sick in bed, it was nice to spend a lot of time outside.

I met some nice cows. They were one cute posse, but they kept advancing on me, eyeing me up and down, so I didn't stay long enough to find out their names.

We drove into North Battleford one afternoon and watched the chuck wagon races. I loved how the announcer yelled "Hwheel to Hwheel they race" (think Stewie saying Cool Hwhip) and "It's hotter than Arizona pavement here". I loved how the outriders held onto the chuck wagon horses and then did this quick hop which bounced them onto the backs of their horses.

Close to Atton's lake is Little Bushy Lake where my friend's significant other's brother's, father-in law lives. He knows all the good fishing spots and we spend some time catching perch as the sun drifted slowly into the horizon.

Poundmaker Reserve is also on part of Little Bushy and they have set up a Historical Centre and Teepee Village.

We got up early one morning and I discovered the joys of drinking a morning coffee while sitting out on a boat catching fish. I'm sure it helped that the fishing was insane. We caught 65 perch between the two boats in just a few hours. I found myself popping out little fish eyeballs (With my bare hands!) so we could continue using bait to fish. I did try to find the "most dead" fish (ie, the ones not flopping around) and then gave them a little rap on their little head on the side of the boat. And I did silently hope that these fish were in fact truly dead, or at least had no feelings of pain. I think I've come a loong way: from not being able to put the bait onto my own hook (lest my hands get all gooby), to popping out fish eyeballs.

I'm glad I headed out of the city, I had great weather, great company and a great time fishing.

~b~

6 Randoms

2010-07-27T17:02:00.001-06:00

1. Shingles

I helped shingle a playhouse at the beginning of summer and discovered that I'm a mean, lean shingling queen.

2. Victoria Awake

At the end of April I helped organize an artistic night featuring photography, video and music.

Victoria Awake played some tunes for us.

3. Babies.

I think there's something in the water. Babies are being born left and right. I made a diaper cake for the last baby shower I went to.

4. Cookies

I wandered into the organic section in Superstore and found this:

Pomegranate Flavored Bran Wafers.

5. Fruit.

I signed up to bring food one Sunday morning.

I thought the fruit would offset the calories in the cinnamon buns I brought.

6. Giddy Up

I was asked to photograph a cowboy themed staff party. I discovered that I love wearing a cowboy hat and that it is very fun to watch adults play tug o' war.

~b~

Confession

2010-07-25T21:13:00.000-06:00

I've been sick for over a week and all I want to say is that not having cable sucks.

CTV online, my MacBook Pro, and Mad Men helped me through the first part of the week as I languished in bed.

I had a brief respite from the confines of my house last Thursday to see Massey and the Fergusons play at Taste of Saskatchewan.

Watching these guys play was the cultural highlight of my week.

I have now been watching The Hills and Paris Hilton's My New BFF Season 1.

Please help me.

It can't get any worse than that.

I'd better get better soon.

~b~

Off the Bookshelf - Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norell

2010-07-22T16:24:00.001-06:00

The book Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by Susanna Clack is set in the 1800's where there is a revival of magic in England. This return of practical magic is spearheadedby two men. Mr Norrell is a recluse who is has amassed a vast collection of books on magic and who believes in acquiring the knowledge and theoretical aspects rather than practicing magic. Jonathan Strange, who is quite limited in knowledge and books of magic, but rather possesses a natural ability to performing magic, believes that magic should be practiced. The opposing viewpoints of the use of practical magic strains the relationship between the two magicians, and they go their separate ways. The schism between the two magicians is limited to both sides publishing scholarly articles, as keeping with the manners and etiquette of society. The use of magic is reserved for practical purposes, such as aiding England in the war against France.

Sometimes my mother would show me all the pictures she had taken that had been recently developed. The first few would be interesting, a picture of my grandparents, or a place she had been while on vacation. Each picture required elaboration, from who the individuals in the picture were, to some anecdote connected with the picture. She would show me picture after picture: people I don't know and will never meet, a picture of the front of her house, a picture of random flowers. She would show me the pictures that were blurry and out of focus, the pictures where she had missed including their heads in the composition, or a double of a previous picture. The pictures soon blurred together and nothing stood out and I only had the overwhelming urge to leave.

This is how I began to feel towards the middle of the book, I had the overwhelming urge to finish. The detail of this book is tremendous as it follows the individual journeys of both Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell. It includes footnotes throughout the narrative which gives background to events and elaborates on references made within the story. It took me a while to finish this book, as the details on the journeys slowed down the story line. Towards the end, as the plot includes The Man with the Thistle-Down Hair and the Faerie world, my interest revived.

~b~

Fun at the Playground

2010-07-19T22:52:00.000-06:00

One hot and sunny afternoon while they guys went fishing, us girls took our kids to the beach. It was such a nice, fun family afternoon which was spent lying in the sun, playing in the water, and hanging out at the playground.

I find it so hard to take pictures of children, they are constantly moving, and never seem to want to look up. I was so happy to finally get a good picture of Macy. This picture shows her face, is in focus, and she is smiling, rather than her usual look of determination and concentration which I mistook for a scowl for the longest time. Albeit a cute scowl.

I also caught my son playing on the slides. It is also hard to take pictures of teenagers. They are constantly running away from you when they see your camera, they never want to pose, and smiling would just be too uncool.

My son will kill me if he ever finds out I've posted this on my blog.

I think my days are numbered.

~b~

Flin Flon July Long

2010-07-14T00:31:00.001-06:00

I spent the long weekend in Flin Flon with friends. I was both excited and anticipating adventure, and nervous and anxious, as I always am when I travel with other people for the first time.

I had a blast.

I don't think I stopped talking about Flin Flon for about the first 3 days back in Saskatoon.

When I got home I told everybody about how Flin Flon got its name. Tom Creighton (Creighton, SK is adjacent to Flin Flon) found a book in the wilderness called The Sunless City. The town was named after the main character of the book, Josiah Fintabbatey Flonatin.

Flin Flon is located on the Northern Shield and you can see the rocks everywhere. The buildings are built on top and around rocks. I even drove by one house that had built a bridge to walk from the street to the back door of the house. The streets are hilly and curvy and really fun to drive on, I kept thinking how fun it would be to cordon off the streets and rally car around the city.

The first thing you notice in Flin Flon the the tall tall stack, which, I found out is the tallest free standing structure in Western Canada, it stands at 825 feet (Calgary Tower stands at 626 feet). It had closed down permanently about a week before I arrived.

One of the best surprises was The Orange Toad, a cute, trendy little coffee shop that is located downtown and also sells books. The Trout Festival was on that day and we spent an afternoon watching live entertainment, walking around the main street and eating delicious Kettle Corn Popcorn.

We also fished.

I have to admit, I was a little nervous taking my son on a fishing trip. The beauty of fishing is in its simplicity and requires patience and perseverance. Fishing is where time can linger and you can fall back in love with the world around you. Where you notice the cloudy sky and the wind kissing your face and where nature will meet you when you see glimpses of animals on the shoreline and the birds flying overhead. Fishing is the excitement of getting that tug on your line and then your world instantly shifts into action.

Fishing is not playing COD and watching You Tube videos in a world that is not tangible, but rather digital. I was worried that video games and the internet had ruined any appreciation my son would have of fishing and that he would be grumpy and rude and offend our gracious hosts. The first day we went out, we came home with no fish, but it turns out he loved it! So the next day, we arranged to go with the guys on some crazy adventure through the bush to get to a great fishing spot.

The trip in to get to the lake was epic, and definitely a great memory my son will have for a long time. He and and Kent sat in the back trailer, which we called the coffin. I was lucky to get a seat on the back of the quad and every joint wrenching bump we hit and every tree branch we dodged, I was thankful to be sitting behind one competent and crazy quad driver. I definitely have a new appreciation for quads and the type of terrain that they can drive over. Every now and then I would scream at my son to sit down, in fear that the coffin would tip over, but I did try to bite my tongue every now and then and let my boy be a man.

There is so much I could talk about, from the fantastic meals made by Chef Kent, to the day at the beach, or my very first drive-in movie ever, but this post would never get published.

So I will leave you with a picture that reminds me of the North:

Flin Flon. I will miss the trees and the water and the great company, but definitely not the mosquitoes, horse flys or spruce beetles.

~b~

Things I Like

2010-06-29T23:24:00.001-06:00

1. Nuances

Because nuances are subtle and I am not.

2. Starbucks

Because Tim Hortons coffee always ends up spilling: on my car dash, my pants and my the seat of my car. Plus, I have never figured out the optimal (creamer:sugar): coffee ratio.

3. Fishing

I mentioned that I loved fishing and was invited on a fishing trip. I should have mentioned that I love the idea of fishing. I've never really caught a fish in my whole life.

4. Trips

I love getting ready for a trip just as much as I love going on trips. I love running around getting things ready and daydreaming about what I think my trip will be like. I don't have high expectations of the city of Flin Flon, so I'm sure I'll be pleasantly surprised.

5. Babies

I love when parents dress their babies in Build a Bear Shorts.

Complete with tail hole.

What do you love?

~b~

I Dream in Escher

2010-06-25T07:21:00.000-06:00

I've always wanted to create a dreams category on my blog and write posts of my dreams, but I have been hesitant because it seems popular to approach the interpretations and the symbolism of dreams in a mystical way.

I often remember my dreams and they are usually vivid and filled with detail. For example, I don't just dream that I am in a subway station, I dream that I am in the metro in Montreal, with a polished concrete floor that is littered with garbage -flattened fountain drinks, gum wrappers and stains.

I think the best way that I can describe my dreams is to say I dream in Escher. M.C. Escher was a Dutch artist who is known for his drawings of impossible reality. He also incorporated alot of mathematical relationships into his drawings, especially symmetry groups.

Escher's Symmetry Work 22

Except I don't dream of symmetry, I dream of chemistry. Like trying to solve quantitative analysis problems by watching electrospray ionization occur and then trying to figure out the concentration of the analyte in the injection volume. Correctly solving this problem is tied with getting a job in Mongolia. This is a classic example of what happens to me when I have to write an exam. I must have been thinking about solving a chemistry problem I had been working on before I went to bed. I just wish my brain would stop working on problems while I'm not conscious, because a mish mash of mass spec theory, quantitative analysis, and trying to figure out if I should apply for another job opportunity all at the same time, isn't so helpful to me when I'm asleep.

Escher's Relativity

A lot of my dreams this year have involved themes of walking on unconventional paths. Often I'm hesitant to start walking, but I do, only to get to a certain point where I can't continue so I turn around and retrace my route back.

A classic example of this path dream is the one where I follow an wooden boardwalk. It is painted brown and follows the tree line at the edge of a clearing. I begin walking on the boardwalk, but soon, the boardwalk changes in elevation and like a kids playground, I have to climb up and over and back down again to continue. Eventually I get to a point where the ground is saturated with water and I can feel the boardwalk stick to the ground with each step that I take. Water starts lapping over the boards, which now leads straight into a pond, so I turn around and head back.

I have also dreamt I was in the synchrotron leading a small cow by a rope around the outer edge. The cow had withered legs and we were walking on industrial metal flooring. When I reached the far side, I decide that rather than walk the entire way around, I should just turn back the way I came. Except now, the flooring had fallen away in sections and it becomes difficult leading the gimpy cow and trying to step on places where the metal flooring still exists.

I can see why so many people get carried away with dream interpretation. I'm sure I could come up with a variety of plausible correlations between these "path" dreams of mine and everything that is going on right now. But really, I think my dreams are just a result of my frustrated "creative imagination". Plus, why bother trying to figure out deeper meanings - its like my own personal commercial free television every night.

~b~

Silver Spoon

2010-05-11T23:37:00.001-06:00

I was asked to photograph a staff party next month in exchange for a ticket to the Silver Spoon Dinner. And so with a little trepidation, I said yes.

The Silver Spoon Dinner is an Annual Woman's Event that raises funds for Interval House and The Crisis Nursery in Saskatoon.

I thought the teeny weeny spoons were so adorable. I also loved the warmed nuts that were served as the event began.

The dinner was a wonderful evening where I enjoyed seeing many gorgeous dresses, shoes and purses, perusing the silent auction items and meeting Caroline Rhea (Biggest Loser Host, Aunt on Sabrina the Teenage Witch).

I also enjoyed the champaign, martinis and of course, red wine. The food was delicious:

Romaine Bouquet with Sugared Pecans, Berries and Balsamic Tangerine Vinaigrette.

Those sugared pecans are definitely on my list of things to make in my kitchen.

Lemon Mint Sorbet.

I guess the lemon mint sorbet is served to "cleanse your palette". The first bite was very minty, but each bite became more and more enjoyable. I especially loved the Cosmopolitans and Los Arboles Malbec Wine (shown in the background).

Pomegranate Glazed Chicken Breast stuffed with Asparagus, Brie and Cream Cheese.

I don't even know how to begin describing this chicken. Any chicken stuffed with cheese will make me happy!

Coffee and Bailey's

Sometime during the evening I helped my friend make the winning bids on a Cruise for Two, and an aerial flight over Saskatoon. I've very helpful that way - helping others spend their money on a good cause.

We also ran into Caroline Rhea and she stood for a photo with us. I asked some girls to take a picture with my phone and they ended up taking four or five videos instead. They took forever trying to get a picture of us, but Caroline was so gracious in waiting until the "picture" was taken. I was stuck in the middle with my arm around Caroline, so we could all squeeze into the picture. I feel like I know her so well now.

Spun sugar Basket filled with Carmine Jewel Cherry Cheesecake, Fresh Seasonal Berries with Edible Flower Petals

The big name to describe the dessert is kind of ridiculous, but I loved the plating of the food. The black splotch on the top of the dessert said: Silver Spoon Dinner and the raspberries and blueberries made me excited for summer.

The guest speaker that night was Caroline Rhea. And I have to say: she was funny, very funny. It was the perfect way to finish off such a fabulous evening.

With a ticket price of $150 it is very unlikely I'll be going to this event again. I hope I get some great shots at the staff party, and maybe, just maybe, I'll be invited back again next year. Because, well, those warmed nuts were just amazing.

~b~

Australian Burger

2010-04-30T07:20:00.000-06:00

After writing this post I realized that it's pretty lame and pointless. But it's my blog and I'm posting it anyway. Feel free to stop reading and go to a better site. It won't hurt my feelings, I promise, because I won't even know.

My co-workers and I often walk over to Innovation Place at lunchtime to eat at the Atrium Cafe. This week they were featuring an Australian Burger:

Its basically a cheeseburger that is topped with pickled beets and pineapple. I'm not a big fan of pickled anything, but I thought I'd give this burger a try.

After eating I thought: Meh. At least I tried it.

And that was the Australian Burger.

~b~

TV

2010-04-26T08:36:00.000-06:00

After I bought the iPhones and started paying for 2 cellphone bills with 2 data packages I decided to "do away" with cable. I've been pretty happy with my decision, for the most part.

Now, "doing away" with cable, doesn't mean I don't watch TV, it just means I won't pay to watch TV. This means that I will sometimes watch TV at my mothers house, so I can say that: Yes, I did see Troy at the end of the EH, OH Canada Go Commercial. I will also watch shows from DVD's, like Lost, 30 Rock, and How I Met Your Mother. Lately, I've been watching shows online: The Amazing Race, The Mentalist, and America's Next Top Model.

One of the ways I have simplified my life is to only buy black ankle socks. In theory, this means no sorting and matching of socks required. (In actuality, I still match my black socks based on thickness and the type of elasticy edge.)

I didn't really think that watching TV had any type of influence on my thinking, until this morning when I was getting ready for the day. This morning I had thrown my clothes on my bed, ready for me to put on. And when I got out of the shower, I looked at the socks I had randomly thrown on the bed, waiting for my selection. And I thought: 4 black socks are lying before me, but only two can be put on . . .

You can watch the elimination ceremony of America's Next Top Model HERE.

~b~

Enough of the food posts already

2010-04-19T23:11:00.001-06:00

Sorry, I get carried away sometimes.

This beautiful weather has caused me to put down the oven mitts and pick up my Nikon.

I took four hundred and some pictures the other day. Mostly of dogs, horses, fences, Max's tongue, one very cute little girl, oh, and Max and his tongue.

I think I deleted about three hundred and some. But I did manage to get a few pictures which I liked.

This one was my favorite:

~b~

Kijiji

2010-04-13T21:32:00.000-06:00

Thing #1

The atrocious spelling:

I'm convinced that anyone using this resume writing sercice, I mean sercvice will indeed grab the attention of the busy recruiters and make you stand out.

I'm convinced that anyone using this resume writing sercice, I mean sercvice will indeed grab the attention of the busy recruiters and make you stand out.

Thing #2

When people post ridiculous creative ads like this one:

The ad is pretty long and if you read it to the end the guy throws in free MC Hammer pants. Now that's incentive. You can read the rest of the ad HERE.

~b~

Off the Bookshelf: Skinny Bitch

2010-04-10T18:33:00.001-06:00

My latest read:

Skinny Bitch looks like another weight-loss book with a fresh angle, it could have been subtitled: How to get skinny from some smart-mouthed girlfriends. This book is loaded with information about the importance of healthy food. Skinny Bitch provides information on a variety of issues involving the ingredients in our diets: from the rampant antibiotic use in the meat industry and the problems with artificial sweeteners to the different types of fasts; to information on vitamins and nutrients and their importance to our bodies. This book also offers great substitutes such as raw sugar, turbinado sugar, or even agave nectar or syrup as a sugar substitute. The information is presented in a way that definitely isn't boring, especially with the frequent use of the words: ass, crap, bitch, and even poop.

Skinny Bitch details some of the horrible things that are included in our foods and which we ingest into our bodies. And slowly, chapter by chapter this book persuades you to eliminate so many things in our diet which is essentially crap for our bodies: simple carbs, sugar (the devil), and even meat. You are encouraged to seek out sources of vitamins and enzymes through healthy, wholesome foods: fruits and vegetables, whole grains, soy and legumes. And while this book is touted as a How to Get Skinny book, it really is a book on persuading the general consumer to become a vegan.

I was initially impressed with the many citations of facts, until I checked the sources consulted section and found them to come from highly biased sources such as Peta, milksucks.com and fishinghurts.com. I also found some of the arguments to be highly skewed. For example, "meat" is the decomposing, decaying, rotting flesh of a dead animal . . . You want to put a dead animal corpse-that has been rotting away for months - in your mouth? In your body?

This statement makes anyone eating meat sound disgusting, until I realized that really anything anybody eats is rotting and decaying to various degrees. This book advocates a vegan diet that includes "meat substitutes", tofu and soy. Its interesting that the authors can advocate eating organically and yet eat fake food in the form of meat substitutes. That they can rely on soy beans as a main part of their vegan diet when (according to Food Inc), 90% of the soy crop planted in the United States is a genetically modified variety of soy bean.

Despite the authors use of highly bias sources and flawed reasoning I found this book to be persuasive. Very persuasive. During the time it took me to read this book I quit drinking coffee for 2 days. Yes, 2 very long days. (And if anyone knows me well enough, not drinking coffee is pure craziness).

It makes sense that eating natural, wholesome foods will be a healthier choice. I like the the emphasis on the importance of the ingredient (which should be healthy, wholesome, and pure) rather than counting calories and fat grams. Plus, any and all vegans and vegetarians I know seem skinny and healthy to me. These two bitches know a lot of stuff about food and food ingredients and while I can't give up meat, or coffee, (and especially not cheese), I am more aware of what I am putting into my body and am consciously choosing to eat food that is healthy and wholesome.

~b~

Just Call Me Becky Crocker

2010-04-04T08:47:00.001-06:00

When my son was in Kindergarden I held the crazy idea that to be a good mother, one must sent cupcakes to school on his birthday for the whole class to share. And not just store bought cupcakes, but homemade cupcakes.

And so I went to the store, found the baking isle and quickly located the cake mixes. I stood there scanning the selections: Devils Food Cake, Angel Food Cake, Chocolate Fudge Cake, Vanilla Cake, Rainbow Cake . . . the selections seem endless. Now, all I wanted was a simple white cake so I could bake and then frost the tops with icing. But I looked and looked and couldn't find any white cupcake mix.

They must be out of stock, I thought, so I left the store and when to a different store looking for some cupcake mix. Same deal - the shelves were stocked with a ton of selections of cake mix, but not one box of cupcake mix was to be found.

I was beginning to get frustrated, but knowing that this was the first year my son would be celebrating his birthday at school, I really wanted to send some special homemade cupcakes with him.

And so, I went to a third store. Again, the same thing happened - the shelves has so many cake mixes, but not one cupcake mix box could find. I was starting to get frustrated, so I phone my good friend and relayed the entire story, complaining that I couldn't find a cupcake mix anywhere.

I was met with hystarical laughing coming out of the phone.

I've come a long way since searching for the elusive Cupcake Mix, here is my very first, (made from scratch) homemade cake:

Red Velvet Cake with Cream Cheese Icing.

~b~

I recommend

2010-04-02T09:28:00.000-06:00

I recommend that when you are in a room full of co-workers and a friend offers you a cup of this tea:

that you don't reply with the answer: No Thanks, I'd rather save it for a special occasion.

~b~

Flow

2010-03-30T22:43:00.001-06:00

I watched the documentary Flow this weekend with the boy. We first saw this movie at the Broadway Theatre last summer, but we/he wanted to watch it again.

The film looks at the political and environmental issues of the water supply. It brings up national issues including the contamination of the water supply from pesticides, herbicides and other chemicals as well as international issues relating to access to clean water and the privatization of water services.

Here are some of the things I've learnt:

Atrazine is used as a herbicide that is widely used in the agricultural sector. It is banned in the EU but not in the US. It is an endocrine disruptor (inhibits production and functions of hormones). This can be seen in amphibians: demasculanizing frogs and feminizing them. Studies have linked atrazine to breast, ovarian, and prostate cancer.

There are three major private multinational water companies: Thames Water, Suez and Vivendi. While water is considered a free good (such as air), these companies are profiting from the privatization of water services. These water services provide regular access to clean drinking water for a "minimal" charge.

Loans from the World Bank often have conditions attached, such as the privatization of water services. These loans profit the world bank, the construction industry, and the multinational companies and their shareholders.

In order to operate, the World Bank needs to lend 20 billion dollars a year. This is easily done with large scale projects such as building dams. In terms of water services this often means the construction of a central distribution point that is then piped out to outlying areas. However, much of the worlds population live in isolated rural villages making central distribution unviable.

This film also shows the close relationship between the private multinational water companies and members of the International Monetary Fund. I'm not to surprised at this conflict of interest because it gives both parties the opportunity to gain economic control by controlling the worlds water supply and services. This will payoff in the long run as the demand for clean drinking water increases.

After watching this film I'd say a good bet would be to invest in water, because you'll make a ton of money. Or invent a device that attaches to our taps and shower heads and filters out the chemicals and hormones in our water supply.

Either way you can make a ton of money. Isn't that what it's all about?

~b~

3 Words and a Picture

2010-03-27T16:56:00.005-06:00

Portmanteau

1 - a large suitcase
2 - a word or morpheme of words whose form and meaning are derived from a blending of two or more distinct forms (smog from smoke and fog)

"To carry from"

Having never seen this word before I came across the word portmanteau twice within a week. Weird.

Rubric

1a - an authoritative rule, esp. a rule for the conduct of liturigical service.
1b - something under which a thing is classed
1c - an explanatory or introductory commentary

I've been listening to Mars Hill Podcasts and kept hearing Pastor Mark Driscoll say the word rubric. It made me picture a rubix cube. You can listen to Mars Hill Podcasts HERE.

Omage

1a - a made up word
1b - my own portmanteau, by combining the english word homage with it's French counterpart hommage.
1c - rhymes with frommage

I was thinking of planning a blog post especially for my coworker because her last day at work is Tuesday. I wanted to pay homage to her, but all I could think of was paying Omage instead.

~b~

One Sixty Baby!

2010-03-18T17:31:00.002-06:00

It's been just over a year since I started my blog and this is my 160th post (woot, woot!). In my first post I wrote: I imagine this blog will be an amalgamation of my thoughts and ideas, presented in a random and sporadic sort of way. I think I've been pretty much on par.

I thought I'd run out of things to write about a long time ago. Good thing my brain works in strange and mysterious ways and I always seem to find something that I want to share.

After the maroon 3/4 length coat photos at the Co-op, I've tried to not take pictures of random strangers with my iPhone.

But after seeing this grandmother and granddaughter at the food court the other day, I just couldn't resist.

While I enjoyed seeing the retro hair style, what I really liked was how the grandmother and granddaughter had the same hairstyle. I sat there wondering whether it was the similar glasses or the same hairstyle that made these two look so very similar.

Here's a closer look:

Do you think the grandmother took her grandmother to the mall to have a special day together? Lunch at the food court, haircuts at the salon? And what will her mother think when she returns home looking exactly like her grandmother?

Update:

I saw this on the bus shortly after I posted this and couldn't agree more:

~b~

Looks Like You'll Never Be a Concert Flautist

2010-03-16T16:52:00.000-06:00

I went with a friend on Monday to help her pick out some flowers. So while she perused the selection trying to pick out a nice arrangement. I took pictures with my iPhone. I'm very helpful that way.

I also had the song Inner City Pressure (Flight of the Conchords) running through my head. Mainly because when I hear the lyrics: Looks like you'll never be a concert flautist, I think of concert florist.

These were two of my favorites. I have no idea what kind of flowers they are, but I like em. They are a little odd, but yet they have that je ne sai quois that I find so appealing. Kinda like me - odd and yet appealing.

~b~

Pay It Forward

2010-03-13T13:30:00.001-06:00

Last evening I was waiting in line at Starbucks. The couple in front of me was chatting up the barista and taking their sweet time deciding what to order. I tried waiting patiently (I HATE waiting), but I was antsy to get my coffee and get to the hockey game I was late for.

I have no idea what was taking the two so long, and I thought they were digging for change to pay. I was debating whether I should just offer to pay for their bevies, when the girl turned to me, apologized for taking so long and offered to pay for my drink.

Sweet. I took them up on their offer and settled into trying to wait patiently for the barista to make my drink. When the barista called out my order, I already had the coffee lid in hand, ready to make a quick exit, but as I grabbed the cup, I remembered that a friend mentioned the coffee art that the baristas sometimes make at the Broadway location. So I quickly glanced down at my cup, before putting on the lid - and sure enough, the barista had made me a flower!

The free cup of artfully arranged caffeinated goodness made my day. And I hope that I can buy a stranger a cup of coffee this weekend and pay it forward.

I am also open to any blog readers buying me a coffee this weekend - I'm partial to Grande Three Pump Caramel Americano Misto's right now.

I'll be around all weekend.

;)

~b~

this post as no name

2010-03-11T07:19:00.000-06:00

I opened my email this week at work with the subject line: Highway Fatality.

As I read the the contents of the email my stomach lurched as I read that a co-worker's husband was killed on his way into the city that morning. The RCMP had arrived at work to inform her. My mind was scattered. I thought about when I got the phone call one morning at work telling me my father had passed away. I remember hearing the news in disbelief, even though I knew his death would occur. And then I realized that she would have to go home and tell her children what had happened. And then, besides grieving, there would be phone calls to relatives, a the trip to the funeral home, and the all the arrangements to be made. I remember dreading going back to work after my fathers death and facing my co-workers. I am so private about my emotions, especially when it is sadness and grieving, so I hope when I see my coworker, despite my awkwardness and the inadequacy of my words, I would like to tell her that I am sorry.

All I want to do this week is spend time with my son and tell him I love him. Because I love him so much I can't really express my love with any words. Basically I want to squeeze him till it hurts. I love him that much.

~b~

What I've Been Up To

2010-03-03T17:31:00.000-06:00

Its been a while since my last post. Here's what I've been up to:

I had an espresso shot. Two, in fact. The barista made me do it, but I'm glad I listened-these shots really perked me up for the day. Should I ever win the lottery I shall hire said Barista to make my daily cups of java and all will be well in my world.

Annual haircuts. The boy got an inch and a half taken off, if you can believe that. I just got a trim. I cannot wait to have long long hair. I dream of the day when I can don aviator shades and roam the dirty streets of Saskatoon on a nice loud Harley, with my long hair streaming behind me.

I checked out the Park Cafe. I also downloaded a photoshop app-like the effect?

I tried a new recipe out. I should have guessed by the 9 cups of flour and the 4 cups of milk that I would be making a lot of cinnamon buns.

I used my roller that I used as a little girl. Its mini and light and cute, which makes it tres difficile in rolling out massive amounts of dough. I have to admit, my arms were not used to making such a large quanity of cinnamon buns at one time - they ached!

By my estimation this recipe made just over 50 cinnamon buns. I'm glad to have friends with large families.

By the way, the "topping" contained one whole bag of icing sugar, maple flavoring and brewed coffee. Any commotion in the house on Sunday morning was probably entirely due to ingesting one or two of these babies.

And finally, I went to an auction. I wanted to take a picture, but I was worried I would accidently make a bid on something. I was also worried that once I started bidding I wouldn't be able to stop myself. So I tucked my number into my jacket and kept my hands in my pockets. Some guy named Orville bought a lot of bikes. And by a lot, I mean every fourth or fifth bike out of 165. He would buy them for $5 or $10, or even $7.50, which in auction language is pronounced: 7 and a half. His bidders number was 133. Oh, and one of the guys with the auctioneer kept yelling HEEYAW real loud (whenever someone made a bid) and it made me want to ride a horse. Just thought you'd like to know that last tid bit.

~b~

Thank You

2010-02-23T16:12:00.001-06:00

One of the things I've realized is how blessed I am to have so many different people in my life. Over the past month I've had a lot of conversations that have centered around my ideas, my plans and my hopes for the future. In my conversations I have found out that I have more in common with a lot of people than I ever thought I did. I have found that talking to people who may not share the same values, perspectives or be in the same place in life as me still gave me great insight into my ideas, plans, and endeavors. I just wanted to say that I value and appreciate all the ideas, advice, and different perspectives which have been given to me. I feel so blessed by the many people who have given me encouragement, support and have cheered me on in everything that I have decided to undertake. So, if I have had a conversation with you in the past month or so, this thank you is to you.

~b~

Weekend Retreat

2010-02-21T23:09:00.000-06:00

I spent the weekend at the Shekinah Retreat Centre with a bunch of people from church. Despite my misgivings of no cell reception and no internet access I was assured I would have a lot of fun and indeed I did. The weather Saturday was gorgeous and I managed to get a few good photos out of the gadzillion that I took. I enjoyed good discussions, great coffee and spending time getting to know people a bit better. I think someone said it best when they said our biggest concern this weekend was deciding which game to play next.

We stayed in Timber lodge and I included this picture because apparently all these beams have been constructed in a certain "style" or something like that. The space is amazing with high ceilings, wood beams and windows everywhere.

I spent some time Saturday afternoon reflecting over previous journal entries I had made these past couple of months and as I sat there, I could here so many musicians playing their guitars, or the piano, or other instruments in various areas of the space. It was wonderful. The espresso was wonderful too, but I will save that for its very own post. Because it was just that awesome.

~b~

4 Things

2010-02-19T14:54:00.000-06:00

1- Meh

This has got to be one of my favorite responses. It's so ambiguous and ambivalent and it really means nothing at all.

2- Clean

My coworkers have bought the book Clean. It's basically a 21 day detox program for you body and entails shakes for breakfast, soups for suppers and a meal at lunch. No red meat, no carbs, no sugars, no caffeine. If they can last the week, I just may try it out but for now all their talking has made me eat more vegetables, cut down on caffeine, and start drinking tea, and that is good enough for me.

3- I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request.

This is one of my favorite lines from Pirates of the Carribean. I've always wanted to say that to someone.

4- This weekend

I'm headed out of the city this weekend and I'm looking forward to getting away. I was hoping to buy The Immortal Life of Henreitta Lacks (Rebecca Skloot). The book is about history, racism, medical ethics, and scientific research and commercialization. I couldn't find any in bookstores so I guess I'll have to wait. Meh.

~b~

A Recipe for You

2010-02-17T20:56:00.004-06:00

I'm sharing this pizza dough recipe with you because as I said before it is Absolutely Fantastic and Amazing. Or something like that. I made Double Pepperoni for the boy, because it's his fav. I love Blackened Chicken with peppers, minced garlic, tomatoes, sweet onion and feta cheese. You can find my blackened chicken recipe HERE.

Here's the recipe:

1 cup lukewarm water or beer

1 Tbsp sugar

1 Tbsp quick acting yeast

1 tsp salt

2 Tbsp vegetable oil

2.5 cups flour

Mix water (or beer-try Guinness), sugar and yeast in a bowl and let the yeast rise for 15 minutes. Add the salt and vegetable oil and any seasoning you might want to add (I like adding Italian). Stir. Add flour and mix. Knead on a floured surface until the dough is not sticky anymore, but still feels moist. Cover and set in a warm place for at least 30 minutes. Roll on a floured surface and place on a lightly greased pan. (I sprinkle a Stoneware Large Bar Pan with cornmeal and then roll the dough out). Add toppings and cook at 425F for 10-15 minutes.

~b~

Captain Highliner

2010-02-16T18:29:00.001-06:00

~b~

VD

2010-02-14T09:54:00.001-06:00

It seems like a lot of my friends on Facebook are changing their profile picture to include their significant other. I thought it would be fun to do the same. I debated on who include as my significant other. I did meet a really great guy at Old Navy a little while ago:

He was so nice and kind. He was quiet and a good listener. And the best part about him was that he liked to hold hands. But it never worked out, he was a little too quiet for me.

Here is me and my significant other. We've been together for a very long time and our relationship has steadily grown stronger. A while ago I discover that a little Half and Half and Sugar in the Raw has taken our relationship to a new level. I now wake up each and every morning looking forward to spending the first minutes of each day with the love of my life.

I could have also included my iPhone or my Macbook Pro as my significant other, but coffee eventually won out mainly because we have been together for so many years.

I also decided to join the group: Can this Onion Ring get more fans than Stephen Harper and the group: Can this Pickle get more fans than Nickelback. I don't even like onion rings or pickles but I thought I should start voicing my opinion about things instead of always trying to be nice and amicable. And Facebook is definitely the way to do it.

Happy Valentines Day and/or Singles Awareness Day.

~b~

Amazing Appetizer

2010-02-13T12:35:00.001-06:00

I'm not sure why I have to alliterate food names and descriptions, but that's not what this post is about.

I just wanted to share with you a really great appetizer. I guarantee you that it will be quickly snapped up and eaten at any party you bring it to.

The picture isn't the greatest, it was taken at the end of a really long night, and I realized there was only 3 left:

The original recipe name is called Super (Appetizer) Bowls and can be found on the Tasty Kitchen Blog. Besides being quite delicious, they are really easy to make, but look fancy.

All you do is cook ground turkey (I used pork) with minced garlic, ginger, green onion, and soy sauce. And then add them to the wonton wrappers which have been baked into the fancy shape. And finally add a dollop of wasabi mayo.

Yum!

~b~

Fantastic Friday

2010-02-12T20:12:00.000-06:00

I took the day off today, and while I hate taking days off and not going anywhere, I'm glad I did today. This friday was fantastic.

I met a friend at Souleio for breakfast, I had some sort of egg in an english muffin, she had a panini with organic peanut butter, pecans and raisons, it was delicious.

I then headed back home, quickly started Ryan's Absolutely Fantastic and Amazing Pizza Dough (that's really not the name, but it should be). And then it was off to pick up the Fabulous Princy Paulose. Somehow we ended up at Calories for coffee, soup, and dessert.

But my favorite part of the day was the reuniting of the three loudest laughs on the Spinks 2nd Floor.

And now it's time to eat some pizza and watch the 3rd Season of Lost.

~b~

Where I'm At . . .

2010-02-10T23:18:00.000-06:00

I always feel a little bit insecure when I write these personal posts, but I'm going to write it anyway and then hit Publish Post, before I can stop myself.

Earlier this week I was asked the question: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I have to admit, I gave a pretty lame answer. Mostly in part because I honestly don't know and I didn't want to throw out a bunch of buzz words that sound good, but mean nothing. It is this exact question that I have been wrestling with for the past couple of months.

To tell you where I'm at right now, I have to start at the beginning. Without getting into too many details, the beginning started way back when I was a young single mom-to-be who was determined to not be just another statistic. That statistic that if I "kept" my son I would most likely not have a university education or even my grade 12 and I would likely live on welfare for the rest of my life. So you could say that the past ten years for me has been my response to not being just another statistic. And it has been a reflection of my determination to being a good mom and providing a great home and life for my son.

I did this by working hard to establish myself by pursuing my education and advancing myself through my career. At the same time, I raised my boy into the son I love today. And I lived my life to the fullest by traveling, making great friendships, and by just having fun. Just over a year ago I finally accomplished my goals that took so long for me to achieve. I have a diploma, a university degree, and a great job that pays my bills and gives me some stability.

I then spent the better half of last year sleeping and recovering from burnout. And when I emerged from hibernation I set out to discover all the joys that you can pursue when you have your whole evening to do whatever you want to do. I started blogging and just writing in general. I bought my d90 and have loved learning how to become a better photographer. I started making fancy meals and appetizers, and baking, because making food for people makes me happy. And I started to figure myself out a bit. Things like what makes me really, truly happy. What motivates me, what gives me my excitement and energy. I started to think about how I wanted to live my life and what kind of legacy I wanted to leave behind.

But . . . every time I asked myself: Where do I want to be in 10 years? I didn't have an answer. And it's not for a lack of initiative. It's a lack of direction and vision. I have always been the type of person to not settle for mediocrity. I'm competitive and I want to be the best at whatever I do. I know I have this intrinsic drive in me that will make the necessary sacrifices to get to what I want to accomplish. Because I am like this, I do not want to spent the next part of my life chasing the wrong goal. I do not want my time and energy and life to be wasted on chasing the wrong thing.

So, to be honest, I don't have an answer to the question. For a while it bothered me that I was wasting so much time by not setting out to achieve something, so I set mini 6 month goals which are finishing up soon. If I could sum up last year it would be: when you do nothing, nothing will happen. And so this year I have started trying new things, and making little changes. I believe that regardless of whether I'm heading in the right direction or not, trying new things will ultimately provide me with just the clarity I need. And I feel that any step I take now just might put me on the cusp of the next big thing.

~b~

Kisses and Disses

2010-02-08T17:56:00.001-06:00

DISSES

I decided to write a Kisses and Disses post because early last week my bank declared a cheque I cashed staledated. After phoning to inquire, I was told the cheque had been dated as 2004. So my first diss was for my bank, until I received the cheque back in the mail and it was in fact dated 2004. So I guess this is disses to me - for cashing a bad cheque.

Also, disses to me for the crappy cake I tried to make for a co-worker for his birthday. For picking out a cake mix instead of baking something fabulous from scratch. For going out instead of baking in the evening and not starting till after midnight. For thinking it took only 15 minutes to bake. For trying to make the middle bake by adding tinfoil and ripping off a huge chunk of cake.

And for breaking the cake in half trying to get it out of the pan.

I think this is the saddest looking thing I have ever baked. I hope my son enjoyed the cake.

KISSES

Kisses to my coworker for her random act of kindness and for her compulsion to initial and sometimes initial and date things. I'm pretty sure I will spend the rest of my life crossing things out with a line, and then initialing and dating everything.

Kisses to my son's guitar teacher. I really appreciated how easy going, flexible and adaptable he was because it made it so much easier and enjoyable for my son to learn. Plus he said fascinating stuff like: "the frequency of the harmonics" or "the power chord is also called the root 5th chord". I really have no idea what any of that musical stuff means, but it sounds pretty cool.

Kisses to my friend, for wearing sexy pants and making me laugh.

But wait, it's even sexier from the back:

I'm not really good at this disses thing. I just dissed myself. So rather than fall further into the pit of self-deprecation I think I'll just call my next post on this subject: Kisses.

~b~

The Seven Days of Ang

2010-02-06T19:13:00.001-06:00

I just realized that I have spent every single day of the week hanging out with the same person.

So I'm gonna call this week: The Seven Days of Ang.

To celebrate this, I thought I'd make some appies and bring them over to the get together tonight.

One of the things I made was Pico de Gallo.

I'm pretty sure I could have used my Punchy Smashy to chop everything up quickly. But I love to dice things. Except maybe the jalepeno peppers which is making my thumb throb right now.

Here it is, all mixed up:

So easy! I recommend eating this with Nachos bought from the Bulk Cheese Warehouse.

~b~

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match . . .

2010-02-01T20:29:00.001-06:00

This weekend I introduced two people who have very similar personality's. It was like introducing the male version of a person to the female version.

The male version was my older brother. The female version was a friend of mine:

I have to admit, I was kind of nervous when I mention this to my brother. And I was definitely nervous about mixing two different areas of my life. Crown Royal helped me get over this.

I ended up having a great night and I have to say, I was impressed with my brother. Really impressed. He met up with me and three friends who he had never met before. He paid for drinks and paid for pool. He was peppered with questions, he made jokes. He laughed with us, and he laughed at us. And at the end of the night he even drove everyone home. What a gentleman. I wish all guys would be generous, easy going, and considerate all the time and not just when they were trying to make a good impression.

Regardless of whether my introduction goes anywhere or not, I'm looking forward to more fun filled nights with my girls.

Fun nights involving: luggage demonstrations, pink crocs, stolen medical gloves, grape throwing into mouth contests, and falling on the ground, but not getting up.

~b~

5 Things About Me

2010-01-31T22:36:00.000-06:00

1-I need to look at the street sign every time I drive home or I will miss my turn off.

And when I write every time, I mean every time. Except for a small bump in the road, my turn off is pretty nondescript. I've never had this kind of navigational trouble. Ever. I have driven to Orlando to Miami without even consulting a map. I found my way home from Illinois by just driving in the general direction I wanted to go. The other day, I passed by my friendly neighbor, who waved at me. I smiled, waved back, and drove past my street.

2 - My friday song is: Danger! High Voltage by Electric Six.

I found myself dancing around the lab, and ejecting pipette tips with flair last Friday. I think I was really looking forward to the weekend.

My favorite lyrics are:

Fire in the Disco
Fire in the Taco Bell
Fire in the Disco
Fire in the Gates of Hell

I especially love how they say Taco Bell.

3- I make my bed every morning.

It is one of the first things I do when I get up. My wonderful friends pointed out in the car this weekend that I was the only one who did that - everyday. Apparently this makes me odd. I just like a nicely made bed.

4-Sometimes I laugh out loud when I'm dreaming and wake myself up.

To anyone who knows me, this shouldn't really come as a surprise. I used to be pretty self conscious about my laughing, that people would think I'm insecure, but I really don't care anymore. It's just who I am.

5- I still haven't taken down my Christmas Tree.

I'm trying to tell myself it's okay that I haven't. I was even going to make perogies the other day to "celebrate" Ukrainian Christmas, just as an excuse for having the tree up. When my son was little, he used to come home with dirty clothes, sand filling his shoes, and ripped clothes. But I never got mad, because to me it just meant he was having a really fun time. And so that is how I see the tree - I guess I've just been having a really fun time since Christmas.

~b~