Thankful

This past year I have gained a deep appreciation and gratitude for life, health and freedom.


About a year ago I started getting sick on a regular basis.  I started to become sick so frequently that I was convinced I had some horrible condition: Lyme disease, West Nile, a brain tumor, cancer, Menairs disease.  (I definitely recommend that if you are going to self diagnos your self using the internet to remember Occam's razor: the simplest explanation is most likely the correct one).  I don't even know what Menairs disease is. 


Some times I would be so sick that the hours would feel like days and the days would feel like weeks as I lay in bed fighting a fever, nausea or vertigo.  Some days I would be well enough to to sit up and watch tv or read a book.  I'm glad that I had accumulated so many days of sick leave at work, because in the past year I have taken seven weeks of sick leave. 


During the times when I was sick I felt so isolated.  I was confined to my house, and often to my bed in my room and sometimes to my mind.  It was frustrating to think and plan, but not be able to carry out my thoughts, ideas or plans.  I felt horrible for not even having the energy to make my son supper or do the laundry.  


Thankfully, I have a doctor who is quick to sent me for tests and to specialists and I soon found out I had an ovarian cyst.  By December I was in so much pain I couldn't sit or stand comfortably.  With every step I took I was well aware of the mass growing inside me that could have been malignant or benign.  I couldn't sleep properly and I started have trouble eating.  At the beginning of January I had surgery to removed the cyst and spent a few weeks at home recovering.  This past year I have been working on getting my health and strength back.


Had my health and connection to others not been taken away for a bit, I would have never appreciated or been thankful for a day like yesterday.

• Yesterday I had the energy to do a bunch of boring chores: laundry, dishes, errands.

• Yesterday I let my son sleep in and then woke him up to eat the breakfast I had made for him.

• Yesterday I went on an epic bike ride that involved a stop at Homesteads (try the British '99).  We biked for 18 kilometers.

• Yesterday the wind pushed me to pedal harder, it left a layer of dirt on my hot sticky skin, it gently blew the smell of the water to me, and brought with it that beautiful sound of rushing water to my ears.

• Yesterday I had the best shower ever.

• Yesterday I had the energy to work on the "its not a bulletin" information handout for my church, Journeys .

• Yesterday I got to "encourage" my son into coming for a bike ride and managed to stay positive, despite his grumbly, mumbly, rude teenage self.  

• Yesterday I got to hang out with friends who love me enough to speak truth into my life and not let me keep pushing things below the surface.  

• Yesterday I let my son stay out way late, before picking him up.

• Yesterday I fell asleep exhausted, happy and thankful to have the health to live life.

~b~

ps.  "encouraging" is just a nice way of saying I bribed my son to come hang out with us by telling him to meet us at Homesteads and then telling him he couldn't hang out with his friend unless he biked back with us.  

Mothers Day

One year I took my son on a trip to Edmonton for his 7th or 8th birthday.  After checking into the hotel, the first stop on our itinerary was a trip to the Science Centre.  We had only been there for an hour or so when he ended up breaking his arm.  Ironically, he broke his arm while running at the human body exhibit.  

The rest of the day was spent at the first aid station, then a mediclinic, and finally to the ER at the childrens hospital. He ended up have surgery to get a pin in his arm so our entire trip was spent at the Stollery Children's Hospital.  

All I can remember is the 6+ hour wait in the emergency room where I had to rig up a "bed" for him using two chairs which faced each other.  Apparently, all he remembers is a comment I must have made to one of the doctors.  

Roses are red.  Violets are blue.  You are my mother and I love you.  Happy Mothers day.
Your going to buy me a game cause you almost risked my life at edmonton cause you thought I was a whimp when I broke my arm.

Being a single mother, I never get a gift for mothers day, so this year I decided to change that.  I sent my son along with his mentor to the mall with some money and a few specific suggestions.  When I picked him up I could see that he had a Body Shop bag and I told him that if he would like a nice gift bag to please let me know, as I had a few saved.

While its nice getting a gift on Mothers Day, it is more important for me to teach my son how to be thoughtful and give a gift.  My favorite part of the day was the huge smile on his face when he brought out my gift.  My second favorite part of the day was his garbage bag gift bag that he had made.

In case your wondering, he bought me Almond and Shea Body Butters, a Starbucks gift card, and Mumford & Sons- Sigh No More.


~b~

The Best Part of My Day(s)

I've been having a rough few weeks, so I decided this week to name one thing that was the best part of my day.  This is what it was this week:


Sunday
Taking my bike out for the first time this year.  Loved it.  


Monday
My shower.  I had a really emotionally draining day, but my shower at the end of the day seemed to wash everything away.  Plus, I was shiny and clean.  Actually just clean, not really shiny.  


Tuesday
Getting tickets to see the musical Wicked, with really great seats: 1st row, second balcony.  I'm definitely looking forward to a night out with a group of fun ladies.


Wednesday
Green Grass.  The first thing I noticed when I left the house in the morning was how green the grass looked after the storm.  It turned out to be a rough day for me, so I'm glad I picked this days "best part" so early in the day.


Thursday
Getting Kings of Leon tickets.  I'm so so excited to go to this concert.  I could go on.  But I won't.  Except maybe to say that I love Kings of Leon.  So so excited.  


Friday
It's Friday, what could be better than that?  Also, that my friend phoned me just before work to have a quick chat and wish me a Happy Friday.  We have been phoning each other to wish each other a happy friday for over 3 years now, I love it.


What was the best part of your day?


~b~

Incredulous . . .

Is how I felt when I took this picture:

False Alarm


Almost every evening around suppertime I hear the faint urgent beeping of a fire alarm going off in small staccato bursts.  It gives me a small smile, for some reason, to know that someone on our floor has burnt their supper - again.


Last weekend I came home after spending a nice evening out enjoying a good conversation and eating steak paired with a nice Melbec.  I was looking forward to enjoying the apartment to myself when I heard the fire alarm going off.  With no smell of smoke and no activity in the hallway I ignored the endless droning sound that conveyed no sense of urgency.  That is, until I heard the building manager running down the hallway banging on apartment doors and yelling: EVERYBODY OUT!!  


So I did what any sensible adult would do: I grabbed a backpack and filled it with my prized possessions.  Which happened to be my Nikon d90 with lenses, and my MacBook Pro.  I glanced at the Xbox 360 and hoped it would perish in the fire.  I pictured it melted into a puddle on the floor.  I also decided to wear my black spring jacket - it looked better with my outfit.  A vain mistake I would soon regret.  


I headed outside and milled around the doors of the building trying to find out what had happened.  A small baby was crying.  He was only wrapped in a small blanket, so I suggested he and his mother join me in my car to keep warm.  The nights events were pretty anti-climatic after that.  I watched steam billowing out of the vents of the laundry room and people in apartment units who peered curiously out at us.  The fire department never showed up and we were eventually allowed back into the building.  I went to sleep in my clothes, just in case.  Color coordinated, of course.


Crazy Lady Steals Fire Extinguisher? or The Story Behind My Wall Post


This week I went to see a specialist at RUH with my son.  We ended up having to park in the exorbitantly priced parkade.  We took our time leaving, looking at photos of Saskatoon on the walls of the walkway and getting out of the way of the train when it honked its tiny horn at us.  We soon desended down the stairs and made our way to the pay station with our parking ticket.  A lady was in front of us.  As we reached the bottom and took our place in the queue, I watched as the lady in front of us noticed the fire extinguisher located in a box on the wall across from us.  Walking over to the fire extinguisher, she first tested the handle to see if the door would open.  It did.  So she proceeded to slowly open the door and tentively touch the extinguisher.  She then took if out from its case, eyed the extinguisher up and down, even testing out its weight.  It must have been to her satisfaction because she proceeded to rejoin the queue, right in front of me.  


I couldn't believe my eyes, so I decided to take a picture.  She noticed that I had my phone out and decided to put the fire extinguisher back.  My son was so embarrassed that I would take a picture and I could hear him muttering in protest behind me.  Later, when I asked him why he would care what a stranger (and a would be thief) would think I me taking a picture, he angrily retorted:  She's obviously ill, Mom.  I definitely can't disagree with his statement.  I decided to phone RUH, so they could check that they still have a fire extinguisher, but I can't help but wonder what else she has in that big black backpack of hers.


~b~

Birthdays

For anyone who gets to know me well they will probably realize that my dorkiness and lameness is proportional to my mood and energy.  They also probably know that I like to celebrate birthdays with cakes and cards.


On Thursday (March 31st) I thought I'd celebrate the birthdays of two people.  I also wanted to eat cake and visit with my friends that evening.  


So even though Robert Bunsen (the chemist behind the Bunsen burner) has been dead for many many years, and my brother is in Mexico City right now, I thought I could still celebrate their birthdays.

Check out the accompanying video:

I don't know what I liked more about this video: that I yelled at my friend to SING, that they actually start to sing, that I "zoom" into my brothers name for visual interest, or that it ends with the one candle being blown out.  


I've decided to start the reminders for my birthday early this year:  June 1st is in less than 2 months!  


I'm debating whether I should send out special reminder cards again.


~b~

Little Things

Sometimes I get so focused on wanting to accomplish big achievements that I forget that to get anywhere, you have to start small.


This post is a list of all the little things that I have accomplished recently.


Early Mornings 


This year, I've been working on self-discipline.  Since the beginning of February I've been going to bed at a decent hour and getting up early to read and think and write and enjoy my coffee in solitude.  It's slowly becoming my favorite part of the day.  Lately, my computer has been acting wonky, so this morning I finally backed up my hard drive.  I ended up having to google a few things but I think I did pretty good trying to figure out the best way to partition my external hard drive at 6:30 this morning without a full cup of coffee in my system. 


Lent


I'm pretty ignorant about what Lent is so I thought the best way to learn was to participate.  It didn't start off too great (I forgot to eat pancakes) and it was really tough in the beginning.  I found myself glowering at people who gave something easy up like Facebook or television.  I was so cranky, I thought I would lose some friends in the process, so I put myself in a self-imposed exile for a week.  But it's been getting better and I definitely see the value in learning through doing.  


My Son


As a parent I get wrapped up in my son's obstacles.  It's been a tough year being a parent.  But last Friday was awesome.  In the afternoon my son helped out at my mother's work.  Not only did he spend the afternoon helping to move furniture and boxes, but he worked with people who are intellectually disabled.  I am so proud of him for working so hard without complaining and especially for being so accepting of people who are different.  (This isn't really an accomplishment on my part, I just don't brag about my son very often).


Money


I've been trying to approach my spending and lack of saving in a more disciplined way.  My immediate goals are to get out of my line of credit and to save enough money to go on a trip this summer.  But more importantly, I just want to approach my finances in a more consistent and discipline way.  I've been following Gail Val-Oxlade money jars system.  It is easy and simple.  I either have money to spend or I don't.  




Thoughtful Tuesday


I'm lazy when I think of names and titles, and tend to use alliteration.  Thoughtful Tuesday is an example of this.  Thoughtful Tuesday is something I started a few weeks ago.  It's basically engaging in an act of kindness or giving to others and sharing what I've done, in order to inspire others to engage in their own acts.  Last week I made three Kiva loans and posted it on Facebook.  I don't participate every Tuesday, mostly when I remember (or have money), but it's a really easy and simple way to focus outward.


What small thing have you done lately?


~b~

Tattoos

I met a friend for lunch at Amigos on Friday and had the most amazing lunch I've had in a while. 

We ate Black Tiger Shrimp with Peppers and Onions in a Zippy Santa Fe Sauce with Coconut Rice and BBQ Black Beans.  YUM!!!

While we were there I mentioned that I thought it was time to get another tattoo.  I would love to get a tattoo on my wrist, but I wasn't sure I want to commit to getting a tattoo in spot that can't be covered up.  My friend thought it was a great idea and told me if I went to ROP that afternoon, she would buy me a coffee.  I was excited by the impulsivity of the whole idea and decided I would grab a ride home to change my jacket before stopping in at ROP.

I've know my friend for 23 years and as I was at home getting, I remembered the time we had a sleep over and she convinced me to stick my head through the railing and tie me up with a bunch of rope.  I think we were re-enacting a Houdini stunt of some sort.  Anyway, I just remember being tied up with my head stuck through the railing and I think I may have ended up crying.

I decided to not get a tattoo that afternoon.

On Sunday at church, my favorite little person showed me her stickers that were all over her arms and legs.  She then proceeded to transfer them onto my arm one by one.  

Each sticker was placed on an empty spot on my arm, and smoothed down so they remained stuck.  It took a painfully long time to complete this process, but I couldn't say no to such a cute face.

And now I know what I would look like if I ever decide to get a full sleeve. 

Those smiley faces are definitely me.  What do you think?

~b~