Boys!

This summer I've being going to a church that holds its services outside by the river. Last Sunday was a particularly beautiful morning. The bright sun warmed my skin and the wind impatiently blew the leaves in the trees so they danced and shimmered and whispered in my ears. The outside service is pretty casual; worship is led by one guy with an acoustic guitar. We sit under the trees, on the green grass either sharing blankets or spread out on lawn chairs.


My son and I sat near the back between two others and just behind my friend who was sitting on a blanket. As the service commenced, my son casually draped his leg over the arm of his chair and onto my leg and I sat there, absentmindedly playing with his newly grown leg hair. There we sat, side by side on that beautiful peaceful morning singing songs, discussing social justice, and listening to the message.


Soon, the service drew to a close and as the announcements were being made I heard a faint sound, like that of a lawnmower starting up in the distance. Glancing over my shoulder in my sons direction I realized it wasn't a lawnmower at all, but was in fact my son, casually farting in his chair, with his leg still draped over the side and onto my leg.


With a puzzled look on my face I quietly inquired:


Is that you?


Are you f-f-f-arting?


His mouth spread into a wide grin and a look of glee crossed his face. He responded by quickening the pace of his staccato burst of farts. I sat in shock and then hissed:


Stop. Stop. Stop RIGHT NOW.


But instead he doubled his efforts and the farts began to reverberate so loudly off his nylon chair that the people around us started to turn their heads towards us.


I wanted to yell at him, I wanted to march him off to the car and wipe that little smirk right off his face, but being that we were in church I was clearly at a disadvantage and we both knew it. To my relief he finally ran out, and finished by proceeding to throw me his look. His big brown eyes sparkled with mischief and his ever growing grin brought out his dimples. Oh the cheekiness! My heart melted. Being the mature mother that I am, I held up the sheet of song lyrics in front of my face and tried in vain to laugh without him seeing me.


~b~