On waiting

A friend of mine spoke on Sunday about waiting and I could really relate when she said that we all experience waiting.  I feel like I'm in perpetual waiting, in all areas of my life - my career, my health, for love.  It seems that every time I set goals, make a plan, and set out to achieve that goal, something happens.  I feel like I'm Jack Sparrow stuck in Davey Jones locker.

And yet, I truly believe that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be right now.  

I read a blog post by Paul Tripp yesterday and can really identify when he says "waiting is not only about what you will receive at the end of the wait.  Waiting is about what you will become as you wait" and that "personal heart and life change is seldom a sudden event.  Usually it is a process".  

I'm not really sure how I have changed since my illness and surgery last year, but I have.   I think after weeks of being sick I can get rather dramatic and at some point I decided to "arise from sleep" and live life.  

Here are some of the things that resulted from my last waiting:

• I decided to stop living a life based on fear.  Before my illness and surgery, I would have never went tubing, tried to waterski, ziplined, and especially ask to speak in front of a group.

• I began the pursuit of wisdom.  This has meant that I have stopped trying to get people to tell me what to do and have started making my own choices.  It has meant I have been trying to make the best decisions I can and it has resulted in a confidence of the decisions I make. 

• I have been more obedient to the prompting of my heart.  I would have never written this post, or ask to share in front of Journeys before the beginning of this year.  

• I have decided to quit living someone else's vision of life and try to figure out who I really am.

I was thinking this weekend how my life is kinda like the treasure hunts my mother would make for me at my birthday parties.  We started with one little clue that told us where to look for the next clue.  As soon as we would find the that clue and read it, off we would race to get the next clue.  How boring would the game have been if she would have just handed us a piece of paper that showed us where the treasure was.  

I think my clue simply says:  WAIT.  But this time, instead of getting angry and trying to move forward anyway (which I usually do), or get mopey and depressed (which I also do as well), I am simply going to try my best to wait and to pay attention, because I don't want miss getting handed the next clue. 

~b~