What Your Kids Have Taught Me

I am so blessed to have so many friends with children who have included me in their lives.  It's fun to goof off with kids when I play with them, especially because I don't have to worry about naps or dirty clothes, or sugar crashes.   I don't know what it is about kids, but I tend to be a little less filtered when I'm hanging out with them.  I don't worry about how loud I am, what I am laughing at, and especially what I look like.

Over the past few weeks as I have hung out with different children, I realized that for some reason they have "chosen" me to be their friend:

• The other weekend I got an invite to a hot dog roast, because my favourite 3 year old told her parents she wanted to invite me over to have hot dogs that night.

• I got to play soccer with the two-year old who recently learned my name and can now yell my name until I play soccer with him.  He likes to kick "hard" or "high".

• I connected with my friends niece at a dance recital the other week and now she likes to sit on my lap, hug me good-bye, and even ask me to blow her nose (oh lucky me!).

• On Saturday I ask my friends son to write out our names (I helped him spell mine) and he ended up adamantly denying that he had drawn a heart around our names (it was clearly a heart).

It's funny how special I feel when a child "chooses" me, because I don't think I've done anything special to warrant their extra attention.  And all my flaws and insecurities don't seem to matter to them.

What I have learned from your children is that giving love and attention first and unconditionally is the key to connection.

Connection seems so simple with children, they wear their heart on their sleeve, they give themselves first and seem to expect that their attention and love will be reciprocated.  Children act without worrying about getting rejected.  As an adult, I tend to protect myself- I want to know how someone feels about me first, before I respond.  But in that safety, I think I'm missing out on living a deeper, fuller life.

So I guess the question I have is:

Can I step out from playing life safe and into the uncertainty of vulnerability?


~b~