The past few weeks have been filled with a few notable events. I finally finished my degree and convocated last week. And I turned thirty. And then I gave my notice to my landlord. I just want to live in a place that I can feel I can spend the next two years at and provide a good home for my family.
Right now I am living in uncertainty that I will find another place in this area, so my son can attend the same elementary school and where my dog will be allowed to live with us. To complicate matters, I need to get away. I need to leave Saskatoon. I need to go somewhere new. I need to explore, to experience, I need to travel. So I'm packing everything up, and throwing it in storage, and hopefully before I leave, or when I get back I will be able to find a good place to live.
I feel like I'm playing Yahtzee and didn't like any of my dice, so I threw all my dice back into the cup and gave it a big, big shake.
And now I'm waiting for the dice to fall out to see what will happen. All the while, I am suppressing the panic which wants to rise to the surface and cry out: What have I done?
I just wish I could feel excited about the unknown. Excited for the chance at new possibilities, the chance for a change, but there's something to be said about the safety and security of things that remain constant.
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