Insomniac's Insights

Last night I had a rare case of insomnia.  It all started because I was seriously considering the possibility of making a major change.  It gave me that excited/nervous scared feeling, which I usually take as a sign to "go for it".  So, instead of falling quickly into a deep, dream-filled sleep, I lay there in bed feeling edgy and nervous and excited.  My mind raced in a million different directions trying desperately to absorb and sort out this major change that I was considering.

I think I slept about 2 hours.

The weird thing is.  I didn't feel the least bit tired today.  I didn't feel the least bit tired today, after downing 2 grande Bolds from Starbucks.  I think I went about completing my tasks on auto-pilot and before I knew it, work was done.  Sad really, how easily I can accomplish my day without really putting any thought into it.

When I got home, I tried to nap, but to no avail.  Again, weird.  By this time, I should be tired.  Really tired.  But no dice, I couldn't fall asleep and I didn't feel the least bit tired.

So I sat down and decided to set out a budget and make a plan on getting out of debt and actually have money set aside in my saving account.  How responsible.  How boring.  If anything will make me tired - looking at my finances should do the trick.

But the trick was on me.  After estimating my new pay for the new year and after determining my Fixed Expenses and my Variable Expenses.  I am left with, oh about $20.  What?!?  Ha.  Awful.  Thank goodness that my lack of sleep has made me devoid of emotion because I think I would have had a good cry.  I guess the one good thing about this discovery is that it has only strengthened my resolve to become free from the bondage of my debt, as soon as I can.  So, no travel for me this year, no motorcycle for me this year, and no Starbucks for me for the rest of the day.  It's funny how your dreams and plans can go in whole new direction in less than 24 hours.

~b~